


Safe Haven

by SomeStoryWriter



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Bad Decisions, Bathing/Washing, Bullying, Comfort, Decisions, Declarations Of Love, Denial of Feelings, Depression, Difficult Decisions, Domestic Fluff, Drama & Romance, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Kissing, Drunkenness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Falling In Love, Female Pronouns for Grell Sutcliff, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forced Masculinization, Forced Relationship, Gender Dysphoria, Getting Back Together, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Period-Typical Homophobia, References to Depression, Revenge, Romance, Safe Haven, Self-Doubt, Trans Female Character, Transphobia, forced breakup, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-11-22 02:12:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11370429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeStoryWriter/pseuds/SomeStoryWriter
Summary: When Grell gets bullied at the office, William decides to stand up for her. But neither have any idea of the hardships awaiting them. They go through a rough time filled with anxiety, dysphoria, and self-doubt, while at the same time trying to figure out their feelings for each other. Can they both overcome their problems, or will they lose themselves along the way?"If someone makes you feel bad about yourself, come to me. Use me as a safe haven so you can keep on being yourself despite other people's opinions.""Yes, Will.""Good. Then, I hope you sleep well and…""I love you, Will."





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This story deals with serious issues, such as bullying, transphobia, and mentions of self-hate and suicide.

Compassion. That's the best way to describe the feeling William got when looking out the window. He didn't like Sutcliff, but what he liked less was seeing his subordinate being beaten up by some other Dispatch members.

William tried to stay focused on the meeting, but he couldn't. There, near the garbage cans, four against one. They had had their fun and left their victim covered in garbage.

"…and I'll see all of you again next week."

William hardly noticed when the meeting ended. He packed his things and walked in the opposite direction of his colleagues. It was the end of the workday. Everyone was going home. But William couldn't leave just yet.

He found Grell, a red figure underneath a pile of garbage. "Sutcliff?"

"Just do it, Will," Grell groaned, not moving.

"What?"

"I didn't finish the reports. You can kick me. Go ahead."

"Those reports can wait."

Grell looked up and William froze. Her nose was a bleeding mess. There were cracks and bruises everywhere. Fresh blood was still trickling down. "I'll hand them in tomorrow, Will, I promise. Could you please leave me alone now?"

"No."

Grell gave him a pleading look. What did he want? Was it so hard to understand that she wanted to be alone right now?

"Are you planning on laying here all night, Sutcliff?"

"I-I'll go home in a bit…"

"And you'll be alone the rest of the night? With no one to look after you?"

Grell shrugged and flinched in pain. "…Yes?"

"Wrong answer. You're coming with me."

"Will, dear, I really…"

William stretched out his hand and Grell hesitantly took it. It hurt to get up, and she leaned heavily on William. He made sure his grip didn't hurt her before guiding the way. He knew Grell wasn't only hurting on the outside. If she had been, she'd have chattered non-stop the entire way, injuries or not. She'd have flirted and squealed at the thought of being invited to William's apartment. But she didn't say a word. It was the quietest he had ever seen her. He didn't like it one bit.

William guided Grell through his apartment, taking off her shoes and her dirty coat. She never looked anywhere other than blankly ahead. He sat her down on a kitchen chair and turned on the lights. "Let's take a look at the damage, Sutcliff. See if we can patch you up." He examined her wounds, made sure nothing was broken. "Nothing that won't heal. We need to clean you, though. And get rid of that stench…"

This was all wrong. Grell should be screaming, lamenting her appearance. Not… this.

"Alright, we haven't got all night." William put the kettle on and assembled some tea leaves for a blend he himself always drank to unwind. He hurried to the bathroom to assemble some towels and washcloths. When he returned, Grell was sitting right where he had left her, still lost in her own thoughts. The kettle whistled and William poured a cup of tea. He gave it to Grell, who clasped her hands around it and stared into its depths. William found a large bowl and filled it with lukewarm water. He grabbed one of the washcloths and started wiping the blood away. "I'll have to wash your hair, too. There's quite some disgusting stuff stuck in it. Those bastards. Four against one. Cowards. If they were in my division…"

"I'm going to cut it."

William was startled by the sudden monotone sound coming from Grell's mouth. "What did you say?"

"My hair. I'm going to cut it. It looks stupid." She took a sip from her tea.

William didn't know what to say for a moment. "Is this because of what those guys said to you?"

No answer.

William continued to clean the wounds, saying things like "It'll heal nicely" and "It's not as bad as it looks". Grell finished her tea and he took the cup from her. He placed the chair in front of the sink and washed her hair, twice. He checked the wounds again. "I think we're done. It might be best to skip work tomorrow so your body can…"

Grell hid her face in her hands and started sobbing. William placed an arm around her shoulders and let her head rest against his chest. He let her cry until she had no tears left.

"I hate myself," she whimpered.

"No. Grell, I'm not letting you go down that road."

"Will, stop. I'm just being stupid, and those men kindly pointed it out to me. They're right. Me, a woman? What was I thinking?"

"Grell, I'm going to need you to tell me exactly what happened. There's a lot of nonsense stuck in your head and we need to filter it out."

"Will, please…"

"Are you going to disobey a direct order from your boss?"

"N-No…"

"Sutcliff, report."

Grell took a deep breath, pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. "I-I was just talking to this coworker. Her hair always looks so beautiful, it's like the sun always shines on it, even in that worthless light that we have at the office, that makes you look really sick and makes your makeup look really cheap, so that you…"

"Sutcliff, this isn't going anywhere." William was actually quite happy that Grell had found her tongue back.

"Ah, right. So I wanted to know what she uses on her hair, but then her boyfriend and his friends showed up and they were angry with me."

"Angry? What for?"

"They said it's weird for a man to be interested in beauty products. So I told them that I'm a woman. That's when they took me outside to 'teach me a lesson'. They made it clear to me what I really am."

"And what might that be?"

"Sick."

"And do you believe that?"

Grell nodded as more tears streamed down her face. "Of course I am. Will, just look at me…" She leaned slightly away from him. "And I know you think it, too."

"What? No…"

"Don't lie to me, Will. I see the way you look at me. You think I'm disgusting."

"That's not true."

She turned her face away from him.

"Grell, look at me." She didn't so he grabbed her shoulders. "Grell, I need you to listen to me very, very carefully right now. Am I annoyed by your infinite amount of energy? Often, yes. Am I annoyed that you're out flirting with demons and whatnot, instead of doing your job? Definitely. But do I blame you for being a woman?"

Grell raised her eyes up at him. "Do you?"

"Grell, I see you every day. You are a woman. Everything about you. I'll be honest, at first I too denied it, but after spending this many years around you, I can't not see it. You are a _woman_. And I don't know what kind of sick trick nature has played on you, but I don't ever want you to blame yourself for it. And don't you dare let others convince you there's something wrong with you. They're just jealous that you're more beautiful than their girlfriends."

Grell smiled and a blush spread across her cheeks. "D-do you really mean that? Will?"

"Yes. You wear pride well."

She bit her lip and look back down. "I know you're lying. They're not jealous of me. They hate me because I'm different. Because they don't understand me."

"Grell…"

"I get your point, though. They can't tell me who I am. And the only way I can beat them is by loving myself more than they hate me."

William sighed in relief. "Yes. I never thought I'd say this, but please don't change a single thing about yourself. Although… you could try to hand your reports in a bit earlier."

Grell's eyes shot up to meet his. She looked at him for a few seconds before throwing her arms around him. "Thank you, Will. You have no idea how much this means to me."

William hugged her back, not caring about the smell of garbage stuck in her clothes. "I want you to come to me when something like this happens again, understood? I won't let these people go unpunished. I might even arrange an opportunity for you to take revenge by yourself."

"I'd like that."

William brought Grell to the bathroom, where she could wash the remains of the garbage off. He dried the kitchen floor, put Grell's clothes in the laundry bag and hung her coat on the balcony to air through. She probably wouldn't trust her precious coat with the Laundry Department. At least this way the stench wouldn't stick in William's living room. He found a nightgown in his cabinet and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Yes, dear?"

"I've found something for you to wear once you're finished in there."

"But Will, it's such a hot night, wouldn't it be better if…"

"No."

"Okay, okay. Killjoy."

William smirked. Yes, Grell was herself again. He opened the door slightly, placed the gown on the floor and closed the door again. He was already putting on his pajamas when Grell's shocked gasp sounded from the bathroom.

"You've still got this? Oh, Will, please don't tell me you're still wearing it!"

"No, Grell, you have nothing to worry about."

One night Grell had showed up on his doorstep for some stupid reason William couldn't remember. Upon seeing him, Grell had gone on and on about how nightgowns were now hopelessly outdated. "Every respectable man in London is replacing his gowns for this new thing called pajamas. I may not have a say in what we wear during work hours, but at least I can make sure you're properly dressed in your free time." So, Grell had bought pajamas for William. And she wasn't pleased to find out he still owned such an out of fashion piece of clothing.

"Will, you better not be wearing one of these right now."

"Don't worry, I still had this one lying around. You can also borrow a pair of pajamas, if you like."

"Me? A woman? Will, we both know pajamas are for men only. I shall be wearing this nightgown, as a proper lady."

"Then hurry up. I'm tired."

"What are you waiting on me for? I know the way to the couch. I've slept there before, remember? Oh, Will, you were terribly ill. I had to take care of you for two whole days, poor thing. I hated seeing such a strong, dominant man in such a helpless state…"

"Grell."

"Yes, dear?"

William walked over to the bathroom door. "You know, you don't _have_ to sleep on the couch…"

"Then where am I supposed to sleep? Unless you invite me to sleep in your bed, of course. But we both know you would never…"

"Actually, that's exactly what I'm proposing."

There was a silence on the other side of the door.

"Grell?"

The door flew open, and in a flash of red her arms were around him. "Oh, Will…"

"I just thought that after what happened, you might not want to sleep on a cold hard couch all by yourself."

Grell nuzzled her face in his neck. "So thoughtful. You know exactly how to treat a lady in distress. My sexy hero in pajamas…"

"Get in the bed before I change my mind."

Within seconds Grell disappeared underneath the sheets. She placed her glasses on the nightstand and curled up, waiting for William to do the same. He turned off the lights and climbed into the bed.

"As your boss, I'm giving you the day off tomorrow," he said, searching for her eyes in the dark. "You need rest. I need my subordinates to be in perfect health, and you're not at the moment."

"Yes, sir."

"Furthermore, I want you to come to me when something like this happens again. 'Perfect health' means both mentally and physically. If someone makes you feel bad about yourself, come to me. Use me as a safe haven so you can keep on being yourself despite other people's opinions."

"Yes, Will."

"Good. Then, I hope you sleep well and…"

"I love you, Will."

William didn't know what to say. He found himself grabbing Grell's hand and holding it. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, darling."

William fell asleep long after Grell did. He was worried about other people's bad intentions towards her. He was thrown off by her affection. There was much going on in his head, but of two things he was certain. One, Grell could count on his protection, anytime. And two, he found it strangely pleasant to lie in one bed with her. Maybe, just maybe, he could invite her over more often…


	2. Chapter 2

William woke up to the smell of baked eggs. He stumbled out of bed, ready to attack the intruder, only to find Grell in front of his stove, still dressed in his nightgown.

"Will, dear, I was just about to wake you up. I made breakfast."

Ah, he remembered now. "You didn't have to."

"Darling, it's the least I could do. You were such an angel last night. Now, sit down, or it'll get cold."

William sat down at the table. The eggs looked delicious. Grell poured him a steaming cup of tea before sitting down across from him behind her own plate. "I've prepared your lunch, too."

"Grell, you really don't have to do all of this. I want you to get some rest."

"Will." She pointed her fork at him. "This might be my only chance, ever, to treat you like my husband. I'm not going to miss out on that."

"Why would you want to treat me like your husband?"

Grell smiled dreamily and put her hand on William's. "Didn't I tell you last night? I love you."

Just like before, William didn't know what to say. Stammering, he pulled his hand back, knocking over his tea as he did so. "Ouch!"

"Darling!"

"It's okay. It'll dry."

"I'll grab some towels…"

"No, Grell. Eat your breakfast. It's getting cold."

Grell slipped back in her seat and started cutting up her eggs. They ate in silence. "I never knew you could cook this well," William said once they had finished. "I'm looking forward to lunch."

"Oh, thank you, dear. Now, you must get dressed, you don't want to be late!"

William dressed into his work suit and gathered his briefcase. "I want you to rest properly. No weird cleaning or redecorating sprees."

"Yes, Will. Now hurry!"

William was putting on his coat when he received a smacking kiss on the cheek. "Have a nice day at the office, honey!" Grell chirped, giving him one last hug before letting him open the door.

* * *

William sighed as a new pile of files found its way to his desk. Missing souls. Great. He had to find a subordinate to assign them to and find some other Dispatch members to assist. They were hopelessly understaffed, after all.

He was just about to check if Ronald Knox might have time to handle those files when four Dispatch members passed his office. He recognized them as the ones who had beaten up Grell. One look at them and he had formed his plan. "Excuse me."

The men looked around at him. "Supervisor Spears, right?" one of them asked. "How may we help you?"

William's blood boiled at the man's slick smile. "I have an assignment for which I need four extra reapers."

The men exchanged looks. "Sure," one of them said. "We're not afraid of a little extra work."

Good. "Some souls have gone missing. I need you to figure out what happened. You'll be working under one of my subordinates, to which you will report your findings."

"Okay, boss. Just send the details and leave it to us."

So sure of themselves. "Glad to hear. I'll inform reaper Sutcliff."

The smiles faded from the men's faces. "Sutcliff?" one of them asked carefully. "You mean… long red hair, red coat, high heels?"

William raised an eyebrow. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"No…"

"Actually, yes," said another man boldly. "We are of the opinion that reaper Sutcliff is… incompetent. We prefer to be assigned to another reaper."

William adjusted his glasses. "You shall be working under reaper Sutcliff, like it or not. You have to do everything she says, obey her every order. If you have any complaints, you'll have to file them with me. If you refuse to perform your task, disobey reaper Sutcliff or complain to anyone other than me, I will have no choice but to inform my bosses about your aggressive tendencies."

"Aggressive tendencies?"

William's eyes reflected all the anger he felt inside, causing the men before him to flinch. "You should know that beating up one of my subordinates has its consequences."

"We were merely teaching him a lesson."

William stepped forward. The man in front of him was taller, but it didn't matter. William's burning eyes were enough to make him flinch. "I could destroy your entire career. It's my word against yours. You shall do as I just told you. Understood?"

"Y-yes, sir."

"Good. I'll inform your supervisor. Report to my office first thing tomorrow."

"Yes, sir…"

William smiled as he walked away. He couldn't wait to tell Grell about this.

Speaking of Grell, she knew how to make a tasty lunch, alright. William found himself enjoying every bite. Was she resting right now, like he had told her to? He pictured her, in his nightgown, curled up on his bed, red locks gracing her face… He wanted to go home. He wanted to find her sleeping, so he could wrap his arms around her and hold her against his chest… Place a gentle kiss on her head… Watch her eyes flutter open… Greet her with his lips softly brushing hers… Wait, what?

William looked around him to see if anyone had noticed his thoughts. Of course no one had. His face became red nonetheless. Such thoughts…

"Ah, senpai!" Ronald Knox sat down at William's table. "Who's the lucky girl?"

"W-what?"

"Come on, I know that look. Someone's made her way into that cold heart of yours."

"Reaper Knox, don't tempt me to give you overtime."

"Alright, alright. I'll find out anyway. Wow, that looks delicious!" Ronald pointed at the remains of William's lunch. "It looks like the lunches Sutcliff always brings with him…"

"Her."

"What?"

"Nothing. I'm going to get back to work."

"Tell the mystery girl I said hi!"

* * *

It seemed like the day would never end. It was so quiet without Grell prancing around. So… boring. Four o'clock. Five o'clock. As soon as the clock struck six, William packed his things. Before he left he made a phone call to his house.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Grell."

"Will! I've done as you said. I've slept most of the afternoon. I'm feeling much better now!"

"That's good to hear." It really was.

"Are you coming home soon?"

"Yes, I'm leaving right now. I was just wondering if maybe I should stop by your apartment. If I pick up some of your clothes, you can stay another night and we can go to work together tomorrow morning. If you want that, of course…"

An excited squeal. "The key's under the doormat. My work suits are in my closet. Oh, and my makeup is on the cabinet. Hurry up, okay? It looks like it's going to rain."

"I will. See you in a bit."

Ronald Knox walked by with a very daring grin. "Have fun, senpai!"

"Knox, that's an hour overtime for you tomorrow."

"Oh, come on!"

* * *

Yes, it started raining. And not just a bit. By the time William got home, he was soaked.

"Darling! Oh, you must be so cold! Come on, let's take those wet clothes off…"

"I'll do that in my room…"

"You'll leave water everywhere! Here, give me that coat… Oh, dear, you look like you jumped into a river!"

"I got your things."

Grell took the bag from him. "Thank you, sweetie. Now, we need to get you warmed up. How about you take a bath and I'll bring you dinner?"

"You're making dinner?" So that's what he was smelling.

"Why, yes. I knew you'd be hungry when you got home from work."

The offer sounded too good to reject. "I guess a bath would be nice…"

"Of course it is! Come, I'll start running the water."

A few minutes later William was surrounded by bubbles. He leaned his head back and let his body warm through.

Grell appeared in the bathroom with a tray of food. "Will? Are you comfortable?"

"Yes, darling, very much so."

Grell was just as shocked as William was when the words left his mouth. "I-I mean…" he stammered.

A smile spread across Grell's face as she tried to wrap her mind around what he had just called her. "I'm glad to hear that." She kneeled down next to the tub and placed the tray on the floor. "Open up."

William opened his mouth and let Grell feed him a piece of meat. "Mustn't you eat as well?"

"It's improper for a lady to eat in front of a man like this."

She tried to bring the fork to his mouth again, but he took it from her. "Open up."

She hesitated for a moment, but gave in eventually. William watched how her lips closed themselves around the fork. He had fantasized about those lips during lunch. Now they were right in front of him. They looked so soft…

"Will?"

He had been staring for a bit too long. His face turned red as he leaned away.

Grell giggled. "What is this? Don't tell me you're warming up to me."

Warm it was for sure. In fact, the room seemed to have turned into a sauna in those few seconds. William was having trouble breathing. "How are your wounds?" he asked to change the topic. "Do you think you're ready to get back to work tomorrow?"

"I think so. Does my face look presentable, though?"

William tilted her chin so he could examine her. He wanted to tell her that her wounds were healing nicely, that they would be hardly visible in the morning, that she had nothing to worry about. But those were not the words coming out of his mouth. "You're gorgeous."

Grell blinked in surprise. "What did you just say?"

Instead of repeating his words, William leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers. Grell froze for a moment before wrapping her arms around his neck. As they broke the kiss to catch their breath, Grell smiled and giggled. "My, my, Will. Who would've thought that?"

"It's not my fault. I don't know how you do it, but you're all I could think about all day."

"Good boy."

"Shut up."

"Make me."

He did. It wasn't even an option not to. He wanted her closer to him, as close as she could get. Grell was happy to oblige. She slid into the bathtub, never breaking the kiss. William lowered one hand, let it rest on the small of her back. The other went up, into her hair. Grell placed both her hands on his chest. She was shaking a little. How long had she been waiting for this moment? Was this actually happening? Yes, it was, and William wanted her to enjoy it just as much as he did.

* * *

The water was getting cold. William grabbed a towel and started drying off Grell's hair. She closed her eyes and savored his touch as he wiped the water off her neck and shoulders. They dried themselves off and Grell finally had to take off William's nightgown, as it was soaked. She pulled on one of her own, a bright red one with ribbons. It made her look like a princess.

They crawled into bed together. William caught himself thinking that he could get used to this. Grell snuggled up against him, allowing him to wipe one of her damp locks out of her face and give her a kiss on the forehead. "Do you love me?" she asked.

William didn't want to lie. He would be honest with her. "I don't know if this is love. At least it's something. I'm drawn to you, Grell. I could have had you transferred so many times, and yet... I couldn't. Please, you have to give me some time to figure out what this feeling is."

Grell grabbed his hand. "Take your time. I like living in this apartment. It has you in it."

They brushed their lips together one last time before William turned off the lights. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, sweetie."

Grell, as his girlfriend? Maybe even… his wife? Something about that possibility made his heart flutter with excitement. But something else hung over him like a dark cloud. A familiar feeling. Shame? He had been drawn to her since forever. His feelings of rejection towards her went back just as far. She was right. He had been disgusted by her once. But after sleeping next to her, after kissing her, he could no longer imagine being repulsed by her.

Grell had already fallen asleep. William traced his fingers over her cheekbone, her jawline, down her neck, across her collarbone. So perfect. Those eyes, fiery, strong, daring, sometimes even scary, yet filled with adoration. That voice, never silent, always spilling either obscenities or words of love. Perfect.

He tried to imagine Grell walking out of his apartment, them going back to being colleagues. He would have to go back to being cold towards her, mean even. How could he hurt her when he… when he loved her? No. He would never hurt her. He would love her. He loved her. Would they be able to make their relationship work? There was really only one way to find out. He kissed the tip of her nose. Yes, only one way.

"I love you, Grell."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Ronald is well aware that he's using the wrong pronoun, but he and Grell agreed that it'd be safer for her to keep higher personnel ignorant. Ronald does not yet realize that William is on their side. <3)
> 
> Have a beautiful day!


	3. Chapter 3

4:13 AM. William was awake. Wide awake. He didn't have to get up until five o'clock, but it was pointless. There was no way he was going to fall back asleep. Might as well make use of the extra time, he thought.

He slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Grell, and started on his paperwork. If he did it now, he would be finished earlier today and he would have more time to spend with his… girlfriend? Could he call her that already?

Time passed slow, but at least he managed to get quite some work done. At around 4:45, William put on his clothes and walked over to the bakery across the street. The woman behind the counter greeted him as soon as he walked through the door. "Ah, Mister Spears! You're early! Didn't feel like eating bread yesterday?"

"Something like that. I'll make it up to you, though. I'll have twice my usual order, please."

"Oh? Is someone eating along?"

"Yes, I guess you could say that."

She started collecting the bread from the oven. "Then I assume that person is the reason you didn't show up yesterday?"

"Yes. She had… different plans."

The woman turned around. "She? Are you telling me there's a girl in your apartment? Wait, did she sleep over?"

"Well, yes…"

"Did she sleep over two nights in a row?"

"Madam, please…"

"Mister Spears! I'm so happy for you! When will you announce the engagement?"

"Engagement? Honestly, it's a bit too soon to…"

"Come on, Mister Spears! You once told me that you feel awkward inviting a woman to your home unless it's really serious. In fact, you've never let a girl stay over. Two nights in a row? She must be the one!"

"I can assure you, it was merely a coincidental outcome of the circumstances…"

"Can't fool me, mister! Here, I'll give you this part for free!"

"You don't have to…"

"But I'm so happy for you! I do wish to meet the girl, though. I'm curious what kind of woman would match the cold, strict, rigid Mister Spears."

"What do you mean by…"

"Go now, before it gets cold!"

William paid and left with the warm bag in his hands. He smiled to himself. Crazy woman.

* * *

William left the bag in the kitchen and peeked into the bedroom. Grell was still asleep. He kissed her on the cheek and she stirred. He grabbed the curtains, ready to open them.

"If you do that, I'll kill you."

"At least then you'll be out of bed." He pulled the curtains open and Grell groaned at the sunlight pouring in. "Wake up, sleepyhead. Time for work."

"I'll wake up in five… ten minutes… and then I'll get out of bed to kill you…"

"I have food."

"You are forgiven." She turned over to go back to sleep again. Seemed like it was time for more drastic measures. William scooped Grell up in his arms. She held onto the sheets and dragged them along behind her. "I thought I had killed you…"

"Not yet, princess." He placed her on the couch and went to the kitchen to unpack the bag. When he returned, Grell was sitting up, wrapped in the sheets like a caterpillar. Her eyes were still half closed and her hair stood up in several directions. She was beautiful.

William placed the tray on the little table in front of the couch and snuggled up against her. "I prefer to keep things simple in the morning," he said. "I usually buy breakfast at the bakery and eat on my way to work. I went a bit earlier today, though."

Grell blinked and looked at the buns in front of her. She gasped. "Croissants?"

"Yes, and other…"

"Oh, how romantic!"

"There's some more in the bag for lunch. I'm not as great a cook as you are, so I usually just…"

She wrapped her arms around him. "Will, stop it! You're way too sweet!"

"No, I'm…" He was shut up by a peck on his lips.

As Grell shaved herself and applied her makeup, William collected his files. They were a bit late, but they could still make it. If Grell hurried. She stormed out of the bathroom and put on her suit with breakneck speed. William could hear her scolding herself all the while.

"How could you be so careless? Walking around all day yesterday without makeup! It's a wonder he didn't kick you out for how hideous you looked!"

William pretended not to have heard and acted surprised when she walked into the hallway. "You look… different."

"That's my makeup, silly. You see me like this every day! Although, I did do my eyes a bit different…" She stopped when she saw William's dreamy smile. Blushing, she twisted a strand of her hair. "I forgot to put on anything yesterday… Bit shameful… Didn't shave either…"

William's smile widened.

"Are you laughing at me, Will? You dare mock a lady?"

"Not at all. Do your makeup any way you like. You look brilliant anyway."

Grell's cheeks became about as red as her hair. William placed an arm around her shoulders and guided her through the door. They were going to be late.

* * *

Grell held William's arm the entire way to the office, talking about everything and nothing. He listened to every word she said. When they entered the building, though, he began to feel a bit uncomfortable. He wiped the smile off his face and replaced it with a look of disgust. Some people gave him pitiful looks. They were used to reaper Sutcliff clinging onto supervisor Spears. William's annoyed face looked normal to them. No one would suspect a thing…

"I can't be affectionate towards you here," William said once they were alone in the elevator.

"But Will, why do we have to hide? Knox dates girls openly, too."

"It's just… I don't know. Too early, I guess."

"But Will…"

"Grell, please. Let's keep it between us for a while. Our little secret."

The elevator doors opened and William walked down the hallway, a whining Grell behind him. "But Will, I'm so happy! How can I keep quiet about us? Will, please! Will!"

William tried to ignore her as he walked into his colleague's office.

"You're late, Spears."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't make it happen again. I don't like overtime."

William received the reports from the Dispatch Department London Branch Night Shift's supervisor and carried them to his own office. All the reapers from said nightshift had left already. Soon William's subordinates would come trickling in. He checked his colleague's reports. No strange occurrences. Nothing worth mentioning. Good. Now, who was on the To-Die List for today…

"Will! Ah, there you are! Here's your coffee."

William was wondering why reaper Sutcliff was on time for once until he remembered she had come here with him. He was about to send her away, worried about looking suspicious, when he remembered something else. "Wait here for a moment. I have a surprise for you."

"Really? Oh, Will!" She jumped onto his lap, hugging him tight. "It feels like I'm living in a dream right now. I know you want to keep it a secret, but I simply can't contain myself. I want to love you openly."

"I don't think that's a good idea…"

"Why not? Are you ashamed of me?" she joked.

William kissed her before she could read his eyes. Yes, he was ashamed. He could love Grell in the privacy of his apartment, but not here, with so many eyes around to judge him. He had a reputation to hold high. Nobody would take him serious anymore if he dated Grell, of all people. She would drag him down. But he could never say that to her face. So he kissed her. He kissed her until she felt loved. Which she was. Just not here, where it could mean the end of William's career.

"Fine," Grell said when they broke apart.

"What?"

"I'll keep it a secret for now. But only if you promise to take me to the gala next week as your date."

"Grell…" He brought one hand up from her hips to stroke her hair. "If I bring you as my date, everyone will know about us."

"Wait a minute…" She leaned back enough that he had to pull his hand away. "You're not planning on telling anyone, ever, are you?"

"That's not true…" But he couldn't look her in the eye.

"And why do I get the feeling that if I were any other woman, you'd proudly have me by your side? You're actually ashamed of me, aren't you?"

"No…" But the way he stared at the floor told the truth.

"Will…" She looked at him with big eyes full of tears. "Will, darling… Say something. I'm sure we're having a misunderstanding here." She stroked his hair, cupped his face, desperately looking for a sign that the love of her life was still hers. "Will…"

He grabbed her hands, kissed them, but didn't say anything.

Grell couldn't bear to see her lover's cold face any longer. She had lived in a happy bubble for one day and two nights, and now it was bursting. She jumped off William's lap and stormed towards the door. She was stopped, however, by two arms wrapping themselves around her from behind.

"Don't go…"

Grell swallowed. She didn't want William to hear the hurt in her voice. "I hardly think you're in a position to…"

"I'm scared."

That was not something Grell had been expecting to hear. "Scared of what, darling?"

William nuzzled his face in her neck, calmed by the scent of her hair. "Other people's eyes. Always judging, always pointing out my flaws. I'm not strong like you. The idea of people having an opinion about me scares me."

Grell turned around so she could cup his face. "Let's change that."

"How?"

"Take me to the gala as your date."

"Grell…"

"Forget about what people think. Show them that their opinions can't sway you. You'll feel so much stronger afterwards."

"You think so?"

"Yes! Do you think I wasn't nervous when I wore high heels to work for the first time, or when I started telling people that I'm a woman? Look at me now! There isn't much that can stop me anymore. Certainly not other people's opinions. Except for that incident two days ago. But look, I survived that, too!"

William smiled. "I'll have to get out of my comfort zone some time, don't I?"

"Yes! And you won't be alone. I'll be by your side all evening."

That was a comforting thought. "I guess it'll be alright then… And we can always leave if the stares get too intense, right?"

"Exactly!" Grell wrapped her arms around his neck. "At least you'll have tried. And we can go somewhere together afterwards, just the two of us."

"That sounds nice."

"It does!"

"Then, Ms. Sutcliff, will you be my date?"

Grell squealed and jumped up and down. "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

William laughed at the adorable sight. "Come here." He pulled her in for a kiss.

There was a knock on the door. They straightened their clothes before William went to look who was interrupting them.

"Mister Spears, you told us to report here?"

Grell gasped when she recognized the four bullies. She ducked behind William and peeked over his shoulder. "Will, it's them…"

"I know," he responded, forcing his cold mask back on. "Grell, these four men will be working under you for the duration of the case which I'm about to hand you. They will have to obey your every order. For every misstep they shall receive punishment from me personally. Feel free to use their services to the full extend."

Grell thought for a moment. "This means that if I order them to carry my things or get drinks for me, they can't refuse? Or else they'll be disciplined by you?"

William couldn't stop a sadistic grin from creeping onto his face. "Correct. Gentlemen, reaper Sutcliff will assign you your tasks. Sutcliff?"

"Yes, Will?"

He handed her the case file. "Don't be too soft on them. Revenge is sweet, but only for the one inflicting it."

"Yes, sir!"

The four bullies looked like they wanted to vanish into thin air. But they wouldn't get off that easily. No, William would make Hell seem like a luxury resort to those who hurt his girl. He waved at Grell as she walked out the door. "Have fun!"


	4. Chapter 4

William almost felt sorry for the four men.

No, he didn't. He enjoyed their torment at least as much as Grell did. As days crawled by, their despair grew. William wanted their spirits to break. Just like they had almost done with his sweet girlfriend.

Speaking of Grell, she was horrible at keeping secrets. When Ronald Knox asked her why she was suddenly the first of the reapers to arrive at work, instead of the last, she had blushed and said, "It has nothing to do with Will! I arrived here after him, honestly! I haven't seen him after we left work yesterday! Separately, that is!"

William himself also had a hard time keeping their relationship hidden. He would sometimes stare at Grell a bit too long, or keep her in his office for stupid reasons. He tried to be cold, but he couldn't. Every word he said to Grell was covered in affection.

Grell had been living in William's apartment for the last few days. Yes, it was soon, but neither of them were uncomfortable with it. Quite the contrary. Any outsider would have thought them to be a married couple. Everything about being with Grell felt natural to William. She had become home to him in such a short time.

A loud cry came from the cubicle section. At last, someone had reached their breaking point.

One of the four bullies stormed into William's office, his face red. "This is madness!" he panted. "That guy's insane!"

William raised an eyebrow. "Which guy are you referring to?"

"Sutcliff, of course! It would take an army to complete all the tasks he's giving us."

"I think you're confused. You seem to be of the opinion that reaper Sutcliff is male."

The man stared at him for a few seconds. "You're just as mad as he is. You're both bloody insane."

"And that's three hours of overtime for you."

"Unbelievable." He left William's office, dazed.

William smiled to himself and went back to his work.

A soft knock. "Will?" A face framed by red hair peeked around the corner. "I've got those reports you asked for."

"Great. Those extra hands seem to come in handy."

Grell closed the door behind herself and stepped closer to the desk. "They do. And I must admit, I do love the power you've given me. Is this what it feels like to be you? Being able to boss your subordinates around?"

William chuckled and put his work aside. "You're forgetting about the endless frustration and annoyances my subordinates bring."

"Oh, you!" She laid the reports down and sat across William, on the other side of the desk. "I think those four are at the end of their sanity."

"Good. Keep pushing them until they break."

Grell smiled and leaned forward over the desk. "Oh, Will, you know I love it when you get all cruel and bossy."

He tilted her chin up. "I'm not being cruel, darling. I'll never forget how broken you looked that night. They deserve to feel the same pain. Anyone who hurts you deserves their punishment."

"Protective, are we?" Grell nearly purred before leaning forward to give him a quick kiss. "Oh, Will, I'm trying to keep our promise, but…"

"Ronald Knox?"

"He's just so clever! He sees through all my lies, somehow. I wonder what it is that gives me away…"

"One more day, dear. Tomorrow's the gala. Then the rumors will spread like a fire. There'll be no point denying us anymore."

"I'm so excited! I won't come home with you tomorrow after work, though. I have a lot of preparation to do. Hair, nails, makeup…" She bit her lip and looked down as she grabbed William's hand. "Are you really sure about this, though?"

"What's are you talking about? Weren't you the one who came up with this plan in the first place?"

"Yes, but…" She sighed. "You need to be really sure about us. Because people will treat you differently when they find out you're dating me. You need to be sure that this isn't a passing thing, or…"

"Or what?"

"Or that you're doing this out of pity."

William frowned. "Pity?"

"That night, I lumped you in with those bullies. You defended yourself. And perhaps you even feel like you need to prove yourself."

"Prove what?"

"That you're not like them. That you don't see me like everyone else does. Or perhaps you were lonely, and you thought I was an easy catch. Or perhaps you wish to rebel. Or maybe you thought it would be easier to control me if you…"

"Stop it." He squeezed her hand so hard it almost hurt. "There's a limit to the amount of nonsense I can take."

"That's the thing. Is it nonsense?"

"Of course it is."

Grell gave him a small smile. "I'm glad to hear so. I trust you fully. But I just wanted you to think about what it is you're feeling before you bring everyone's attention down on you. It wouldn't be worth it if this relationship is a two-week thing."

William looked genuinely surprised. "Why would it be? We're doing fine, don't we?"

"I'm glad to hear that. I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I'll be going back to work now." She gave him a quick kiss before disappearing out of his office.

William decided he needed more coffee. He walked over to the cafeteria, got his refill and went back to his office to ponder what he could have done to make Grell say such things. He didn't get the chance, though. Reaper Knox insisted on blocking his way.

"Mister Spears! What a coincidence!"

"Is it?"

"Yeah, I'm quite surprised myself! But now that I've got a moment with you anyway…"

"The reports?"

"How did you guess? You see, there was this girl, and…"

William zoned out after a few words. Why had Grell acted this way? Was it all too soon after all? How could he make it clear to her that he really, really loved her?

"Mister Spears? Sir?"

William woke from his thoughts. "Sorry, what were you saying?"

Ronald studied him for a few seconds. "Sir, if I may say so, you seem awfully distracted lately. So does Sutcliff, come to think of it…"

"What are you implying?" William was shocked by the ferocity of his voice. Surely there was no need to deny their relationship this fiercely? After all, it would be public in a day. He imagined how Ronald would react if he told him about him and Grell. Suddenly he became a lot less confident about the gala. Maybe Grell was right. Maybe he really dated her out of pity, or to be different. To feel good about himself. He had never thought of himself as a good person. It wouldn't surprise him if he let his own ego guide him. After all, he had resented Grell for so long before this. And no matter how well they got along behind closed doors, his stomach twisted at the thought of showing affection in public.

He knew now. He was bad for Grell, and he had to protect her from himself.

* * *

Grell was delighted when the work day finally ended. She would pick up some shoes before the shop closed and come back to the office to meet up with William. When they got home, they would cook a delicious meal together. William was more skilled at cooking than he would admit.

She waited in the lobby, her bag with shoes in her hand, and waved when she saw him appear. He looked tired. Worried, too. Poor dear. Always working way too hard. "Are they putting too much on your shoulders again?" she asked as they walked arm in arm.

"Yes, they are. One of my colleagues is expecting a child and they are handing some of her tasks over to me."

"How wonderful for her." She squeezed his arm a little tighter. "Do you like children, Will?"

"If I told you, you'd just react like everyone else does."

"And how might that be?"

"With disbelief."

"Try me."

A small smile tugged on his lips. "I love them. Always wanted a big family."

Grell raised her eyebrows. "Who would've thought? You don't seem like the type…"

"That's what everybody says. But it's true. Despite whatever image I might be giving off."

"How surprising. Here I was, thinking I would hear some rant about everything that's wrong with children."

"Everyone expects that."

"Mister Spears, you are full of surprises." She leaned on him dreamily and tried to push the nasty voice to the back of her head.

* * *

Dinner had been delicious, and now they were sitting in front of the fireplace, sipping wine. Both suspected the other was troubled by something, but neither dared ask. "Tomorrow's the big day," Grell said, testing the waters.

"It is."

"You know, if you want to think our relationship over for a little while longer…"

"No need." William hated himself for being ashamed. He was going to push himself over the edge.

"Still, I think it's a good idea to talk about our relationship. I unofficially moved in with you, which must have had an impact. We need to know where we're going from here, how serious we're going to allow this to be."

"What kind of things do you want to talk about, then? Can't we just see how things will work out?"

"Well…" She took a sip from her wine. "Imagine if our relationship becomes really serious. Like, super serious. What if you'll propose to me one day?"

"Then what's the problem?"

"Oh, Will…" She took another sip. "For example: you said you want a big family. But let's face it, I can't give you that. So if children matter a lot to you, we should prevent our relationship from becoming too serious. I wouldn't be the right woman for you."

William moved the wine around in his glass. "Are you saying you want to break up?"

"No, I… Yes. Perhaps it would be best."

"I see." He took an extra long sip. "Why don't we give it some time? We'll go to the gala separately, and if we still feel this way afterwards, we can always meet up and talk things through."

"Wait a minute." She studied his face. "If _we_ still feel this way? If you're having doubts as well, why were you acting all careless just now?"

"I just… It's what you said earlier today, and…"

"Yes?"

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I've been misinterpretating my feelings all along. I'm sorry, Grell. I'm so sorry. I just can't…"

"Can't what?"

"I can't love you in public. It makes me feel…"

"Ashamed?"

He couldn't look at her. "Yes. But that's not your fault, it's me who…"

"Don't worry. You're not telling me anything new. I had already expected this to happen. It was too good to be true, I guess."

"Grell…"

"It's okay. Really." But her eyes told him it wasn't. "I'll go home now. I'll see you tomorrow, and at the gala, of course."

"I'm so sorry."

She leaned forward and cupped his cheek. "Don't be. Even Romeo and Juliet didn't fully get their way in the end. It was beautiful for as long as it lasted." She gave him a kiss on the forehead before getting up to gather some of her things.

As the front door closed, William knew he had made a big mistake.


	5. Chapter 5

Grell checked her appearance in the mirror one last time. Her dress fitted her perfectly; she had made it herself, after all. It made her look cute and girlish. Just a shame she wouldn't have William by her side tonight.

She knew she had done the right thing. She could never hope to be good enough, and he himself didn't truly love her. And still, she held on to the happy moments they had shared together. She had loved William for so long, and she had gotten her way. Now it was time to move on. She grabbed her bag and set off into the night.

* * *

William tried to appear confident, but it wasn't easy when he felt so lonely without his favorite redhead by his side. He decided to test himself. He would talk to other women at the gala and see if any of them could charm him like Grell could. If by the end of the evening she was still the only one who could give him that tickling feeling inside his stomach, he would tell her so.

He was certainly not the first one to arrive. Some people were well into their second or third drink already. He joined the crowd, talking here and there, desperate for a distraction.

* * *

Grell had expected people to give her strange looks. Like always, she tried to ignore them. She loved her dress, and no one was going to judge her for that tonight.

It only took her seconds to spot William. He looked so smart. She felt a rush of jealousy. There he was, talking to all those girls. They adored him. No doubt he'd take at least one of them home with him tonight. Home, where she had lived, where some of her things still were… Where all those good memories were made, and that one bad one…

She sat down on one of the chairs to the side, sipping an alcoholic drink. It was no surprise no one asked her for a dance. Why would they? At least from here she could see William. Another girl joined him, flirting, and most likely succeeding. She was so beautiful. And Grell was so… Grell.

Wait, where had he gone? Grell scanned the crowd, but couldn't find William. She shrugged. Probably went home early. Sounded like something he'd do. Stupid man. Why did she fall in love with him in the first place? To think he could cast her aside like that. Even if she was the one who had started the breakup…

"My lady?"

Grell chocked on her drink when his voice sounded from behind her. In between coughs she could see him standing, in all his usual sexiness.

"Will?"

He held out his hand. "Would you grant me the pleasure of having a dance with you?"

"W-with me?"

He took her glass from her with such elegance that for a moment she believed him to be a fairytale prince.

"Will…" she stammered. "Someone will see. Don't you care?"

"Should I?"

"But you said…"

"And I regret it. So please, dance with me, before I'll go crazy."

She let him take her hand, determined not to be won back this easily. He might look like a prince, but if he didn't treat her like a princess, there would be no enchanting love story.

He placed his hand on her hip with a tenderness that implied both guilt and hope. "You look beautiful," he said softly. He hesitated. Looked away. Swallowed. "I miss you." He braced himself for the reprimand he knew he deserved, but it didn't come.

"I miss you, too. But we both know it's for the best. Look at how all the girls adore you. You'll be happy with one of them, for sure."

He shook his head and adjusted his glasses. "All they do is remind me of how you make me feel. I can't pretend to care about any of them. I thought I could…"

"Will, they're looking at us. People are staring at us."

The other women went in full gossip mode. Eric handed money to Ronald. Had they made a bet?

"I hope they're enjoying the view," William whispered into her ear. "Because I have no intention of changing it. If you agree with me, of course."

"Well, I know some things we could do to get on everyone's nerves…"

He laughed heartedly, causing the jealous stares to intensify. "Do those things involve…"

Within a second, Grell was snatched away by another dance partner. She looked up to find it was one of the bullies who had stolen her away. "What are you…"

"Don't worry, Mister Sutcliff. I just wanted to have a little talk with you before you'd ruin your supervisor's career."

"I have no idea what you're…"

"Spears about to get a big promotion. He's worked hard for it. I'd say he deserves it."

"How wonderful." She meant it, though she wasn't sure of the other's sincerity.

"He might not get it, though. I just heard the boss talk. He's come to the conclusion that you and Mister Spears are romantically involved. It's making him reconsider his choice."

"That's not fair!"

"But it is true. Now, don't you want him to be happy?"

"Of course I do!"

"Then why don't you run along and tell him you've changed your mind? For everyone's sake."

He pulled his hands away from her as if she was something gross and left her alone on the dancefloor. She looked around her. There was William, being held prisoner by Eric and Ronald. She walked towards him, knowing what she had to do. She wanted him to be happy, even if it meant she could never be with the one she loved.

"Will?"

"Grell!" Eric exclaimed. "You've just cost me 20 pound. Ronald's suspicions were right after all. I was just telling William here what a lovely couple you make."

Williams cheeks were bright red. He enjoyed the compliments, but also felt awkward with all the attention he was getting. "Slingby, please…"

"I knew you two were seeing each other," Ronald joined in. "Eric here didn't believe me, but I just knew."

"How wonderful," Grell said. Normally she would have loved their reactions, but right now she had other things on her mind. "William, may I talk to you for a moment?"

William hesitated briefly. What's this? His full name? Was something going on, or was he imagining things? "Sure." He guided her away from his subordinates. "We could go somewhere quiet. I presume you wish to talk things over? About where we stand after tonight, and such?"

"I can't do this. I can't lie to you any longer."

William stared at her in surprise. "Lie about what?"

Grell blinked away her tears as she did what she was told. "I told you I wanted to break up with you because it would be better for you."

"I still think that…"

"It was a lie. I broke up with you because I don't love you, and it felt wrong to keep you to myself."

"W-what?" That didn't make any sense.

"I did love you once. But after dating you, I realized that those feeling were gone. I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you like this."

"No, wait…"

"Goodbye, Mister Spears."

"No, you can't…"

She walked away before he could see the tears streaming from her eyes. She would never forgive herself for this. As she made her way towards the exit, an arm was wrapped around her shoulders. "Did you do it?"

She nodded, unable the look the bully in his eyes.

"Good. My friend will explain things to the boss."

"Explain what?"

"How Mister Spears was never interested in you, but he simply danced with you out of kindness. You see, Spears is very caring when it comes to his subordinates, as a good supervisor should be. Moreover, he was afraid that if you'd feel excluded, you might go on another killing spree. How thoughtful of him, right?"

"He's very thoughtful," she whispered.

"But so are we. We've enjoyed working with you so much, that we managed to get you transferred to our team."

"What?" Grell cried out, jumping away from the man.

"Welcome to the Oxford Branch. You'll be starting on Monday, six o'clock sharp. Don't worry, Sutcliff. We'll get you back to normal again. You'll thank us someday."

"But…"

"'Night!" He left her alone with this horror scenario.

* * *

Grell made her way home in tears. She shut the apartment door behind herself and sank to the floor. How could everything have suddenly turned so awful? How was she supposed the face all this?

_If someone makes you feel bad about yourself, come to me. Use me as a safe haven so you can keep on being yourself despite other people's opinions."_

_"Yes, Will."_

_"Good. Then, I hope you sleep well and…"_

_"I love you, Will."_

He was no longer her safe haven. But she would have to be strong. For him. She wouldn't let him be distracted by her problems anymore.

She could do this.

She just had to figure out where to start.


	6. Chapter 6

William woke up alone. He got dressed alone. He bought his breakfast at the bakery and walked to the office, alone. Her clothes were still in his apartment. He wanted to return them to her, but he hadn't seen her since their breakup, three months ago. He tried to move on, but something wouldn't let him.

William's office was nice, befittingly of the "England - District 5 Supervisor". He had moved up a rank, and now his former colleagues had to report to him. It always felt weird to read through the London Branch' reports. Like he was away from home and had to make do with a postcard. He should have been happy with his promotion. But he missed his old job, his old team. And he missed _her_. He knew she had been transferred, but where to? Oh well, as long as she was happy. That was all that mattered.

William's schedule was busy these days. He had to attend three meetings before his lunch break. Long, boring meetings, having little to do with what happened out in the field. He wasn't fond of doing fieldwork, but he did like to supervise it. His current job was so… bureaucratic, distant. Still, it seemed like a waste to give up on it, after working so hard to get promoted.

"Spears!" Eric paraded into William's office. "How are you doing, man?"

"Fine, Slingby. May I ask what you…"

"Alan's busy, so I'm bringing the reports to you. Turns out supervisors work a lot of overtime."

"Could've told you that ages ago."

Eric dropped himself on the chair on the other side of the desk. "Lately I've been having to drag him away from his desk to keep him from finishing 'just one more thing'. He's got bags under his eyes, the poor guy." He looked around him. "Still a nice office. Gotten used already?"

"Sort of, but I don't have much time to…"

"Have you got news on the replacements already? We're two man short and believe me, it's a nightmare."

"I actually have a meeting about that in a few minutes, so I have to…"

"Spears." He leaned forwards over the desk, staring at William intensely. "I never got to ask. Was it true?"

"What?" William leaned back, but Eric only moved further forward.

"Is it true that you were trying to oppress Sutcliff?"

William nearly fell off his chair. "W-what?"

"It's the story that goes around, you know? You were very kind to her, and you even danced with her at the gala. Was it all to keep her quiet and satisfied? After all, you can't not have known about her feelings for you. It seems like an easy tool to use to gain power over her, to pressure her to stick to the rules…"

"Who's been saying that? Slingby, tell me who I have to give overtime for this!"

Eric gave him a small smile. "I knew it. It seemed too absurd. So, what happened? Did you two break up?"

William looked away. "Yes. It's over."

"But why? What did you do?"

"Wait, why do I get the blame?"

"Because Sutcliff's mad about you. She would never want to end a relationship with you."

"Yet she did." He sighed and adjusted his glasses. "She didn't love me, Slingby. She told me so. That's why she broke up with me."

Eric stared at him with disbelief. "Who would've thought? We were all sure… you know…"

"Well, it's over now."

"Is it, Mister Spears?"

"What are you talking about?" He gathered his files, not wanting to be late for the meeting.

"You're a kind-hearted man. And you're one of the few who accept Sutcliff the way she really is. We all know she holds a special place in your heart. And there's no way she's forgotten about you. If I were you, I'd find out the real reason for her actions. Something doesn't feel right about it, don't you think?"

"I have to go now." William got up and walked out of his office, waiting for Eric to follow, and closed the door behind them both.

"Thank you for the reports, Slingby. Send Humphries my kind regards."

"Of course."

William set off towards the meeting, both missing and wishing to leave behind his old team. And, again, _her_.

* * *

Another dreadful meeting. They appointed two freshly graduated reapers to the London Branch. Like they could handle the job. The higher ups truly had no clue of what fieldwork was like. William walked back to his office, coffee in his hand, internally complaining, when he bumped into a woman. His coffee spilled over her and her bundle of papers scattered across the floor. "I'm so sorry! Are you alright?"

The woman gathered the large pile. "It's okay."

"I'll help you carry."

"That's kind of you."

He followed her through the hallways, balancing the papers in his arms. The woman led him to Oxford Branch, where most reapers had gone home already.

"Please put it over there," the woman said, pointing at a cubicle. "I'll get you a new cup of coffee."

"Oh, you don't have to…"

"Yet I will." She walked away and William put the papers down, turning his back on her. He could hear her talking to someone. "I'm afraid I'll have to go home and change before our dinner together. It's just coffee, but stained clothes aren't proper for eating in a restaurant."

"Indeed it isn't."

William froze when he heard the other voice. He turned around, catching sight of a man with short red hair. But this man…

"Here you are!" The woman pushed a cup of coffee in his hands. "Now we're even. Goodnight, sir!"

"Goodnight."

She walked over to the red haired man and wrapped her arms around him from behind. "See you at the restaurant then, darling. It'll do you some good, to be away from your work a bit. You're so tensed…" She started massaging his shoulders. He didn't respond. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and left the room. Now he and William were the only ones left. The man didn't seem to have noticed him yet.

William walked up to the man, standing still behind him. His head hung low and his hands were entangled in his hair. "Grell."

The man jumped around in his seat. Big green eyes took in William's presence. Neither said a word. Neither moved.

She looked terrible. Her beautiful long hair was cut short. There were dark shadows underneath her eyes. Her skin was pale and her posture slouched, as if she had been exhausted for a long time. She was wearing a plain black suit, which looked unnatural on her. But most of all, she looked uncomfortable in her own skin.

"William…"

"What on Earth happened to you? You look awful."

"That's no thing to say to a… to a hard-working reaper."

"Grell, what did they do to you?"

"They gave me a nice job, and I'm grateful for it."

William put his cup down and cupped her cheek. "Darling…"

There was a softness in her eyes, for just a second, before they turned cold. "Mister Spears, may I remind you that such behavior between two men is highly inappropriate?"

"We both know that there are actually a man and a woman in this room."

"You're referring to that odd phase of mine, which I've fortunately grown out of. I was confused, and as such believed myself to be female. Thanks to the people here, I've returned to my real self."

Everything about it sounded recited. "And now I would like to hear the truth. It's those bullies, isn't it? They force you to do this."

"William, why is it so hard for you to accept that I'm happy now? My coworkers are most kind to me. They've helped me out of my delusions."

This wasn't going anywhere. They had broken her. And William didn't have the power to help her back up. "I won't try to win you back. You've made it clear to me you don't want me anymore." Was that heartbreak in her eyes? "But we both know that you're not happy this way. So, come to my office if you want to catch your breath. You don't have to talk to me, or acknowledge my presence, but at least you'll be able to be yourself for a while. You'll be safe there."

"Mister Spears, will you please leave now?" Her eyes held both fear and pleading. _See through me_ , they said, _but don't let them get to you, too_.

"Very well, then. Goodnight, Grell."

"Goodnight, sir."

As he walked away, he could see her placing her face in her hands and her shoulders starting to shake.

* * *

Grell wished she hadn't left her red coat at William's place. She needed it, like a comfort blanket, as she made her way towards restaurant. She could only hope her eyes weren't too red from crying, as she couldn't use any makeup to cover it up.

"Ah, there you are! Finally managed to tear yourself away from your work?"

Grell smiled weakly at her girlfriend. "I ran into an old coworker."

"Well, I'm glad you're here. You really need some relaxation. You're always tired these days…"

They made their way to their table. They sat down. And Grell already wished it would be over soon. She dreaded these obligatory dates with her appointed girlfriend. But she knew better than to complain about any of the things they made her do.

On the first day of work at the Oxford Branch Grell had considered calling in sick. But she decided she would be strong. She hadn't made it through the department doors, however, before the nightmare began. "We need to do something about your appearance," they had said. "This is no way for a man to be walking around." And thus, the first day of work had consisted of a haircut and a visit to the tailor for a new suit. Her coworkers had adored the result, but she had gone to bed crying that night. Not long after, she was told that one of the other reapers had a crush on her. "A girlfriend will bring out the man in you for sure." And so it was that she was now sitting in a restaurant with a woman she was supposed to be attracted to.

"That guy from earlier seemed to recognize you," Elise said, pulling Grell out of her thoughts. "You know, the one who spilled coffee over me."

"I used to work for him."

"Did he let you work this hard, too?"

"He was… different."

"My, my, you really are exhausted, aren't you?" She leaned forward and gave her a small kiss. The only thing it stirred within Grell, was the memory of William. His kisses were different. He made her feel like a beautiful princess, time and time again.

"You men shouldn't wear yourselves out like this," Elise continued. "It's not a battle who can go longest without sleep, you know?"

_I'm not a man, dammit!_

Grell couldn't be mad at her, though. She didn't know what her words did to her, the pain they left behind. She took another sip from her wine. She had to protect William. At any cost.


	7. Chapter 7

When the alarm woke her in the morning, Grell wished, again, that the world would leave her alone. She didn't want to get out of bed. She didn't want to speak to people. She didn't want to do the work she once loved. Her appetite was so low, she often forgot to eat. She was always tired, always lacking sleep somehow. As it was, she didn't want to exist.

Today would be another busy day. Not that she had so much to do. The workload might even have been less than at the London Branch. But since Grell had so little energy, every tiny task took forever to complete.

She got dressed, avoiding every reflection she encountered. She plastered a smile on her face as she entered the office. How much longer before anyone found out she was pretending?

The paperwork itself wasn't the biggest problem. It were her coworkers and all the tiny distractions that kept her from her work. As more and more of them left for field assignments, she decided to find a more peaceful place. With files in her arms, she wandered the building, passing through an all too familiar department. The London Branch was quieter than before. Seemed like the fun had died out there as well.

As Grell did her best not to be seen by anyone who knew her, she ended up in a hallway with doors of which one caught her eye. That was unmistakably Will's name on the door. Part of her wanted to run and hide, but another part of her thought about his offer. William's office was always quiet. She would get a lot of work done. But then she had to face him…

She decided she would knock once. If he wasn't in his office, which was very likely at this hour, she would go back to her own department. Yes, that was a good idea. She wouldn't have given up without trying. She raised her hand and gave a brief knock, already turning away.

"Come in."

…That was not supposed to happen. Grell's heartbeat sped up. What now? Enter the office? Walk away and pretend nothing had happened? The choice was made for her as the door opened, revealing an annoyed William. "I told you to… Grell?"

Her blood crept up to her cheeks. "Hi… I was just…" She couldn't come up with an excuse.

William noticed the stack of files in her arms. Lowering his voice, he said, "Did you come here to work? If so, don't hesitate to come in."

Grell found herself nodding. Well, no way back now. She walked into the office. It was big and the furniture looked expensive.

"Make yourself at home," William said, closing the door behind him. "I won't speak if you don't want me to. Feel free to ask if you need anything."

"Is it okay if I sit on the couch?" It looked soft, and she loved the shade of red it was made of.

"Of course. Can I offer you something to drink?"

"Tea would be nice."

"Then tea you'll get."

William left and Grell made herself comfortable on the couch. She flipped through the files and was already halfway through one report by the time William got back. "Here you go, milady," he said, putting the cup down on a small side table.

She froze. She wanted to say a hundred things at the same time, leaving her a stuttering mess.

"Are you alright?" William asked. It was weird to see Grell at a loss for words. "Do you not like your tea this way?"

She gave him a panicked look. "No… I…" Tears collected in her eyes. "Thank you… for everything."

"It's okay."

"No, it isn't. Not after how I treated you."

"Grell, all I'm doing is lending you my couch. This is the least I can do."

"But if anyone finds out..."

"Don't worry about me. I'll face whatever consequences come my way."

"You idiot."

William sat down behind his desk. He knew it would take a while for Grell to loosen up. But he believed in her.

Time flew by as they both worked in silence. They took turns having their lunches in the cafeteria, just to be careful. At the end of the day, Grell had to go on a field assignment, leaving William alone in his office. He let out a deep sigh before starting on the long list of complaints from the London Branch. Ronald Knox had written a long essay about the amount of overtime they were getting. "Please, I don't want to have to choose between sleep and going out!" he begged. Eric Slingby was mostly concerned about Alan. "He's a good supervisor, but even he can't handle this workload. It would be easier if the trainees were a bit better at their jobs. They might as well not be here at all, that's how useful they are. Three people is not enough to cover all of London. You're a good guy, Spears. Do something about it. PS, have you found out anything about her yet?"

William rubbed is temples. Alan Humphries was a good reaper, but he didn't have it in him to discipline trainees. He said so himself, in his own letter: "I'm having some trouble with the new graduates. Do you have any tips? You've done this before, after all. I must say this job is harder than expected. I'd rather be out in the field. What about you, sir? I do hope all is well. Looking forward to hearing from you."

The trainees themselves also had the nerve to complain about big and small things. It sounded like the London Branch was a mess. The possibility of resigning flashed through William's mind. He could ask for his old job back again. He'd have things back in order in no time. But he could never do that. He was supposed to be proud of his promotion. Grateful, even. He sighed again. The higher ups weren't going to come up with any reasonable solutions. The least he could do was take a look at the situation himself. If the team felt let down, they might not be as motivated to work hard. Therefor it was of utmost importance that William checked up on them, so they believed they were listened to.

That sounded like quite a reasonable excuse for something that was plain homesickness.

* * *

Alan Humphries was the only one left in the department. He was running back and forth with reports, trying to keep up with the paperwork. He nearly dropped a pile of paper when William walked in. "Mister Spears! What brings you here?"

"I just thought I'd see how you guys are doing."

"Well, the others are all out in the field. It's crazy these days. We only have two hours left, and we're only halfway through our list!"

"Can't the night shift help out a little?"

"Not with this amount of cases. They'd hardly have time for their own work anymore."

"I see."

"Mister Spears!" Eric came walking in, a young unknown reaper behind him. "Have you fixed anything for us already?"

"That's up to management, I'm not qualified to…"

"Say, have you heard anything about Sutcliff?"

"About that…" He cast a glance towards Alan and the trainee.

"Hey, green one, start on the paperwork for me, will you?" Eric said. The trainee didn't look pleased, but he did so anyway. "You can trust Alan. Now, what's the news?"

"She's unhappy," William began. "It looks like her colleagues are trying to change her. She seems scared of them."

"Like I expected," Eric said.

"Is there anything we can do?" Alan asked.

"We can't fight this fight for her," William said. "It would be meaningless. All we can do is be there for her, until she finds the strength to stand up to this herself."

"True words, my friend," Eric said. "If you slay the dragon for her, how will she ever be able to believe in her own strength? And if she doesn't believe in her own strength, how is she going to climb out of the tower and return to her home?"

"Thank you for this elaborate metaphor," William said, questioning Eric's state of sobriety. "With this in mind, I have…"

"Sutcliff!" Alan exclaimed. "Is that you?"

They turned around. Sure enough, there was Grell, back from her field assignment. "Hi, Alan," she said weakly. "Good to see you. I must return to my department now…"

"Sutcliff!" Ronald walked in, dismissing his own trainee. "Long time no see! Say, when are we going to have a drink again? It's been ages!"

"Sorry, I… You know… Work…"

Eric was the only one at a loss for words. He gave William an anxious look. _Are you seeing this too?_ , his eyes said. _What on Earth happened to her?_ As Grell walked away, he decided to speak after all. "Grell. You're our friend, and we miss you. If you ever want to talk to us, just walk in. The door's always open for you, girl."

Grell stood still for a few moments before hurrying away. William suspected she was trying to hide her tears.

* * *

Grell kept coming to William's office. Not every day, but often enough. He brought some of her things which she had left at his apartment. She asked if she could keep them in his office, because 'the boys' came over to her apartment every now and then and if they found high heels there…

They fell into a routine: Grell would come into the office and put on her coat, heels and whatever else she felt like wearing that day. They started working in silence, but as time passed, conversations blossomed. Grell was chattier every time and was almost herself again around him. She enjoyed their time together. It felt like heaven contained in an unfashionable office. She felt safe, and even loved, although there was never any romance between them. At least, it was never put into words. She dreaded the moment she had to leave, for all freedom and safety would be gone again. But she knew she could always return.

William, too, felt better with her around. He didn't worry as much. When she was gone, his mind drifted into an endless debate about whether to resign or not. He had come to dislike his current job immensely. More than that, he missed his old job. But was asking for a demotion the right thing? He couldn't figure it out. Perhaps he needed someone else's opinion. "Grell?"

"Yes, dear?" She was doing her hair, high heels flung over the armrest of the couch.

"If you have been given an opportunity that you should be grateful of, but you don't want it, do you think it's right to refuse?"

"What are you talking about, dear? All the boring meetings must be getting to your head, you're talking nonsense."

"That's the point. Those boring meetings. They're important, but…"

Grell put her mirror down and turned around. "Darling? Is everything alright? You seem rather… in thoughts lately."

He shook his head vaguely. "Don't worry. Forget what I said just now."

Grell looked at the clock. "Oh, got to hurry!" She placed the coat and heels back in the closet where they came from and dressed back in her plain suit. When she spoke again, it was with a lower voice than before. "Good day, Mister Spears."

"Bye, Grell." He sighed and fell once again into his spiral of thoughts.

Grell closed the door behind her, forcing the pretense back on. She turned around, only to be met with a face mere inches away from hers. Only after she jumped away in surprise did she recognize her colleague.

"Mister Sutcliff, am I correct to suspect that this is where you've been hiding whenever we couldn't find you? In Mister Spears' office?"

"It's not what it looks like…"

"Grell, you were doing so well. What is it? Are you and Elise unhappy? What is causing this setback?"

"I hate you," she said through gritted teeth. "All of you."

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Good. You have to understand that this is all for your own good. You're sick, Grell, but we can fix you. That's what friends are for. Now, let's handle this setback of yours. As you know, we learn best through punishment."

Grell followed, knowing she couldn't bare this for much longer.


	8. Chapter 8

William's worries had driven him to the pub. He didn't even care anymore what the bartender poured him. All he knew was that he was getting drunk, and he liked it. He had written five letters to management that day, all asking for demotion, all ending up in the garbage bin. As he drank more, his worries eased away and his mind allowed happier thoughts. Thoughts of her. They pretended to be friendly, Grell and him. But they both knew there was more to it than that. They both knew what was hiding behind the glances, the words, the unnecessary touches. He ordered another drink and buried his head in his arms.

"Spears, I must say, I have never seen you look this pathetic." Eric took the seat on William's right.

"I've never felt this pathetic."

Eric ordered a drink for himself. "Want to talk about it?"

"No."

And so they drank in silence. As time went on, William's thoughts entered the dark spiral again. The frustration inside of him built, and this time there was nothing holding him back. He was too drunk to even think of self-control. "I can't take this anymore."

"What was that?" Eric downed his glass and ordered another one. "What can't you take anymore?"

"Everything, it seems. Everything is so hard these days…"

"You're talking about your job? Is your job so difficult?"

"I don't want it, Eric. Stupid job. I want to go back."

"Back to us? The London Branch?"

"Yes! I miss you idiots. I even miss the overtime sometimes. I thought I'd be happy leaving you guys behind."

"Glad you're so honest."

"And I miss her, Eric. Have you seen her?"

"Yes, I…"

"She's so beautiful. She always is. You should see her in the morning, when she's still half-asleep. Or when she gets excited and starts jumping up and down. Or when she just… exists."

"Oh boy, someone here's in love."

"She's so beautiful…"

"Yes, you already said that."

"No, but, I mean, really. She's beautiful. Like, beyond appearance. She looks great, but that's not what I mean. I'm talking about her personality, the way she talks, the energy that she radiates. She may not be the prettiest girl I've ever met, but there is something about her… something beautiful."

"That's great. Now, what's stopping you?"

"Huh?"

"What's stopping you from getting your old job back and telling Sutcliff what you just said to me?"

"But… I worked so hard… A chance like this…"

"Think about yourself for once, Spears. Others would be happy, yes. But this is you. If you don't want this, then take some action."

"Take action…"

"Be a bit more proactive, will you? Walk up to management and tell them how you feel."

"Yes. Yes, I'm going to do that. I'm going to tell them what a bunch of worthless, stupid…"

"I wouldn't do that."

"Right…"

"And what about your other problem? Are you going to tell Sutcliff the truth?"

"No."

"No?"

"No. I could only say these things because I'm wasted."

"Then get wasted again. No, don't do that. Not a good plan." He emptied his glass.

"Eric?"

"Yes?"

"I think I'm going to throw up."

"Shit. Well, let's hurry to the bathroom then." He led William to the bathroom stalls and let him do his thing. Why couldn't his supervisor see how simple things really were? Why did he need such a big push to get him to take some action?

The bathroom door opened and a slightly tipsy Grell walked in. "Ah, Eric… I'll come back later."

Eric sighed. Did he have to play everyone's therapist tonight? "Wait up."

"Huh?"

"Close the door. I have something to tell you."

Grell did what he said and looked at the bathroom stalls.

"Don't worry. There's no one in there. Although…" He peeked into William's stall. He was sound asleep on the floor. "Nope, no one to overhear us."

"Please hurry. The others are waiting for me."

Eric thought for a moment. "I think I'm going to tell you the same thing I told him just now."

"Who…"

"Think about yourself for once. Ignore everyone else's feelings. If there were no consequences, if there was nobody to be hurt, what would you do?"

"What would I do?"

"Would you leave things the way they are? Would you try to go back to how they were? What would you do?"

"I really don't have the time for this." She turned to walk away, but Eric grabbed her by her wrist.

"Do you have any idea how much this is hurting me?" he asked with a harsher voice than before. "Or Alan? He has always admired your confidence. So have I. It's not easy, being different. We have all struggled with ourselves for a long time. So when you asked us to use different pronounces, of course we did. Because you taught us not to be ashamed. I have hated myself, Grell. I hated myself for loving."

Grell's breathing quickened. She needed more alcohol. She needed a haze to hide behind. Eric said too many things, he made her feel too much.

"I felt wrong, wanting to ask Alan out," he continued. "I'm sure he did, too. But you inspired us to be ourselves. And now we'll have to do the same for you."

Grell clasped a hand over her mouth and tears streamed from her eyes.

Eric pulled her into a tight hug. "Hush now, girl. We're all here for you."

"What do I do? If I make a move, they'll... William… They'll…"

"Don't worry about him."

"But…"

"Trust me, he'll find his way. It's Spears we're talking about here."

"I love him, Eric. What I did… Would he forgive me?"

"Of course he would. Hey, you know what you're going to do?"

She looked at him with hopeful eyes.

"Tomorrow you're going to walk into the office."

She gave him a confused look. "But I do that every day."

"No, tomorrow _you_ are going to walk into the office. Do your hair, dress up, put on some glitter. Kick down their door with those impossible high heels of yours. Let the queen rise from the ashes."

She giggled softly at his words, which urged him to continue.

"Can you imagine the looks on their faces when they realize you're stronger than them?"

"I could really scare them."

"You could. And let's not forget Spears. He's worried sick about you." Literally, he thought, casting a glance at the nearby stall. "He'd be overjoyed to see you smile again."

"Will… Yes, I think I'll..."

The door opened and one of Grell's colleagues peeked around the corner. "What's keeping you so long? It's your turn to buy a round!"

Grell gave Eric an apologetic look. "Yes. I'm coming. It was good talking to you, Eric."

She left with the man and Eric turned his attention towards his supervisor. He was starting to wake up from what seemed like a bad dream. "…What do you mean, my reports aren't readable?" he muttered. "My handwriting is fantastic! No, you're just an idiot…"

"Spears."

"Don't have time to start over…"

Eric sighed and accepted the fact that he would have to bring his supervisor home.

* * *

Grell didn't parade into the office the next morning. She all but crawled in, clutching her head. "Ouch…" This was going to be a long day, and not just because of her hangover. She could feel it looming over her like the dark rainclouds above. As if she didn't have enough on her hands already. No, her mind had decided that this was the perfect time for one of _those_ days.

It had started that morning, when Grell walked past her bedroom mirror. She tried to ignore it, but she couldn't. She was aware of her small hips. She was aware of her flat chest. She was aware of everything that seemed a bit off if she wanted to pass as a woman. Normally, she'd try to push those feelings away by focusing on the good things instead: her beautiful hair; her impeccable makeup; her high heels which gave her an air of grace and elegance. It was never enough, but at least it stopped her from going crazy. But now, she couldn't distract herself with those things anymore. Her hair was short, makeup was off-limits and her high heels were in William's office, where she wasn't allowed to come anymore. Her defense was stripped away, and she had to make do somehow.

Because today was one of those days, when body and mind refused to add up. And there wasn't much to be done about it. Today even more so than other times.

Grell had stepped out of the bathroom, every part of her not wanting to leave the house. She did so anyway. At least work would keep her busy. Here, in her apartment, there was hardly anything to distract her.

On her way to her department she caught sight of William. He looked horrible, the poor dear. He waved at her. She waved back. She wasn't allowed to approach him. But if he started the conversation, it wasn't her fault, right? But he didn't. He never came near her, because she had asked him not to. Today she wished he did, though. She wanted to tell him everything, make him understand.

She entered her department, fifteen minutes later than planned.

"Sutcliff, you're late!"

"I'm sorry." That voice. A man's voice. Disgusting.

She went to work, but couldn't concentrate. At least she'd showed up. Most of her colleagues had called in sick. The others left one by one, with different excuses. She was surprised to find everyone else gone around noon. They had asked her to finish their work for them. She agreed, because that's what good friends do… Right?

She missed her friends. Not her current colleagues, but her real friends. And William. She could go visit him. No one at the Oxford Branch would know, as they weren't there. She picked up her huge pile of work and set out towards her favorite place in the office building. By the time she reached William's office, her arms were sore from the weight she was carrying. She kicked softly against the door and William opened. "Come in. Here, let me take that from you. Ah, that's heavy…"

Grell settled down on the couch as usual. William had the feeling something was off. He couldn't tell why, but she didn't seem the same. "Are you alright? You seem rather absent-minded."

"Yes, darling. I'll get to work now."

William looked at her a bit longer before sitting down behind his own desk. She didn't blame him for not asking any further. This was her problem, after all. She'd cope the way she always did: by hoping the day would end soon.

* * *

It was an absolute nightmare. The pile of paperwork only seemed to be getting bigger, and so did Grell's pain. As she worked through the files, she couldn't help but notice how masculine her hands looked. The carefully manicured nails failed to make them look graceful. With these same hands, she felt that she had to shave again soon. There were tiny stubbles on her sharp, masculine jawline.

She took a toilet break and stared at her face in the mirror above the sinks. She tried to see a woman. She really did. She failed. "I hate you," she whispered. "You're not me. I tried to kill you, and now I'm here. And still you won't leave me alone."

She tore her eyes away from her painful reflection and went back to William's office. There weren't many people left in the building anymore. It was Friday evening, so everybody was trying to leave as early as possible. William didn't look up as she entered. He was busy with a big pile of paperwork. She continued working on her own pile. She thought of the warmth and comfort of her bed and decided to work fast.

After a while, she became distracted once more. She studied her hands, moved them up to her face, felt the stubbles. She moved down to her chest. Wasn't there really anything there? Not even a slight curve? Her hands moved down. No curves around her waist, either. She rested her hands on her stomach. That was when her last bit of composure fell apart. She curled up on the couch and focused on her breathing only. In, out. Otherwise the panic might choke her. She gripped her hair and could barely stop herself from screaming out loud. She looked up when she heard footsteps. William hurried out of the office, away from her. "Will…" she whispered, not meaning for him to hear. He didn't. Grell curled back up again. She must have made him uncomfortable. He was probably going home, trying to avoid contact with his crazy ex-girlfriend. She didn't blame him. She'd leave herself behind, too, if she could.

Minutes passed. Grell didn't want to move. She didn't want to exist right now. But the pile of paperwork did exist. It taunted her. She tried to focus, failed again and shoved the entire pile off the table with a frustrated cry. Files fell open, sheets of paper flew through the air. Great. Now she had to clean that, too. She tried to pick up a file case, but lost her balance on her high heels. She crawled back up, kicked the table, ignored the pain in her foot and sat down with her face in her hands.

Footsteps again. She caught a glimpse of William walking towards his desk with a bag in his hands. Probably forgot something. Some drawers were being opened, closed. The footsteps grew nearer. Grell was startled when she got lifted up by a pair of arms she knew all too well. "Will, dear?"

He lowered her into the chair on the other side of his desk. She was surprised to see three bottles of red wine in the bag he had brought along. William grabbed one, opened it and poured two glasses. He handed her one before taking a generous sip from his own. He leaned back and sighed deeply. "I figured you could use a drink, too."

Grell looked at the bag again. "That's an awful lot of wine for two people."

"Well, my old man used to say: better too much alcohol than too little."

She took a sip. "I guess he had a point." She then noticed there was something on the desk that was definitely not paperwork. "Chocolate?"

"Another advise from the old man: If a woman is having a bad day, you can fix it with wine, chocolate and a good round of…"

"Yes?"

"I'm not going to finish that sentence."

Grell nearly choked on her drink from laughing. They finished their glasses in silence and William poured them a second round. "I thought about buying something stronger," he said, "like vodka. But I didn't know if you like that sort of thing. Wine seemed like the safest choice."

"Something stronger? Will, are you trying to get me drunk?"

William smiled and studied his glass. "Honestly, I'm using you as an excuse to get drunk myself."

"But why, darling?"

"Because there's a lot I want to say, but I can't do it without a bit of help. And also because I have a hangover and want the headache to go away already."

They finished their glasses. Grell was starting to feel a little light-headed. She realized she had hardly eaten anything in the last six hours or so and she picked a chocolate to compensate.

"If you're planning on going home tonight," William said, "I suggest you do so now you can still walk. If you decide to stay, be prepared to pass out somewhere in this area."

"William T. Spears, getting himself and his subordinate drunk in his office. Who would've thought that?"

"Seems like you're the tame one for once. Tell me, why are you such a moody raincloud today?" He held the wine bottle up and Grell handed her glass in response. She had longed for her bed all day. But if she had to choose between being alone with her thoughts or being with William, she didn't have to think long.

"Oh, Will. I wouldn't want to bother you with such silly things."

He raised his eyebrows. "That's never stopped you before. By all means, bother me. The day's rather boring without you doing so."

Grell felt a blush creep onto her face. Or was it the wine? "You mean that?"

"Yes. Spill it, Sutcliff. What turned you into a broken mess on my couch? If it's those bullies again, I swear I'll…"

"It's nothing like that." She took a deep breath, wondering how to make him understand. "As you know, I'm a woman. But my body is still that of a man. And some days this just really bothers me, to the point where it's all I can think about."

"I see. Is there anything I can do to help you?"

"I'm afraid not. It will pass, though. It never lasts that long."

They kept drinking. "You've changed, Grell," William said when they approached the end of the second bottle. "I remember when I was teamed up with you for our examination. An angry red cloud, I thought to myself."

"And what am I now?"

"A happy red cloud, raining rainbows everywhere."

She laughed. "It's an improvement."

"It is. Anyway, that's when the flirting started."

"That's when I fell in love with you, dear."

"I noticed. Do you mean it, though? All the talk about marrying and babies?"

"I do. But Will, last time we had this conversation, didn't we break up?"

"Yes. So, let's do it right this time. Grell, come over here. I think I'm drunk enough to spill my guts now."

She stumbled around the desk and landed on his lap. "I'm listening."

He took a large sip. He was going to feel this in the morning. "Grell, humans are weird…"

"Yes?"

"…And I don't remember where I was going with this."

They drank another glass before William remembered his point.

"Humans are weird. They will go to extreme measures to get what they want. There are a lot of humans out there who can't have children, just like you. They'll find a way. And if not, there is always the possibility of adoption." Wasn't there something else he wanted to say?

"But Will, I'll need a father."

"Me, of course."

"But silly, we're not married."

"Details, Sutcliff, details." Ah, he remembered now. "In fact… Grell, I'm about to tell you everything that's been on my mind for the past few months. Can I ask you to do the same? To be honest?"

She nodded. "Go ahead."

He took a deep breath. "I love you. And I don't mean I have a crush on you. I've had crushes. This is different. I want… I think I want to marry you. And it may seem weird because we haven't been dating for so long, but I've known you for centuries. And I know that you're the one I want to wake up next to, every morning, for centuries to come."

"Even if I can't have children?"

"Like I said, we'll find a way. And even if we don't, I'd still have you, which is more than I could ever have dreamed of."

She rested her head against his shoulder. "William T. Spears, you are a silly man. You don't even have a ring! What kind of proposal is this?"

He grabbed a pen and a piece of paper and scribbled _Buy ring_ on it. "The ring is on its way."

She sighed. "We're wasted, aren't we?"

"Definitely."

"We might not remember this in the morning."

"Probably."

"If you get caught, you'll be demoted."

"Hopefully. It would spare me the pain of having to arrange it myself."

"What do you mean?" She sat up so she could look him in the eyes. "Are you not happy, dear?"

"No. No, I'm not. But I'm going to fix it. Soon, the London Branch shall be mine again."

"As it should be. Here, let's drink on that." They both ignored the fact that half of the wine was poured next to the glasses, instead of into them.

"I've been honest," William said. "I've declared my love and expressed my worries. Now it's your turn."

"Oh, Will. Where do you want me to start?"

"How about you explain why you broke up with me at the gala? That was a nasty trick of yours."

"I didn't want to! My friends are rather… demanding."

"Your friends? You mean those bullies?"

"Yes. They might be a bit strange fellows, but they really only want the best for me. They've been guiding me for months. I owe them a lot…"

William groaned and rested his head in the crook of her neck. Everything was moving up and down. "You can't be serious. I thought we'd gone over all this the night I found you by the garbage cans? When all this started?"

"Yes, but I've gotten to know them since…"

"Shut up." His arms tightened around her. "I won't have any of this."

"But Will…"

"I told you to shut up." He looked up and she flinched from the anger in his eyes. "Do you have any idea how much of my sanity you've cost me?" His voice was different now, lower, nearly a hiss. She had seen him like this before. But only when he was really, truly furious. "Do you know how many nights I've lied awake, hoping you were alright? Can you imagine what scenarios played through my mind? You, crying alone, or going insane, or hurting yourself. I kept telling myself that I couldn't interfere, that you'd gain nothing by being treated like a weak girl who can't stand up for herself. Because we both know that you have it in you to stand up. But you don't bloody do so! And my patience is running out." His hands tightened around her arms, but she didn't dare protest. "Grell, I don't want to be angry with you. But I can't take this anymore." Tears started to collect in the corners of his eyes. "I can't stand having to watch you suffer from a distance! You're tearing yourself down. I love you so much, and you're destroying yourself to please people who have only brought you pain. Do you understand why I'm so frustrated?" Tears streamed down his face. His harsh tone was replaced by sobs. "You need to end this, Grell. Neither of us can take this much longer. And we shouldn't have to. You're bloody gorgeous the way you are. You don't need those bullies. You don't need anyone who brings you down. There are people who love you. Focus your attention on them instead. And on yourself. Because you're bloody worth it."

"You idiot," Grell said, trying to stop her own tears. "How dare you make a lady cry?"

"I dare to promise this lady to make her very happy."

"Will…" She started choking on sobs as well, so he held her close, feeling better now he had her in the safety of his embrace.

"Hush, my love," he whispered into her ear. "You're so strong. But you don't always have to be. I'll be there for you, no matter what."

"You better marry me or I'll kill you."

He smiled and pushed his glasses up. "Honestly."

* * *

The first thing Grell felt upon waking was a burning headache. She opened her eyes and had no idea where she was. A moody groan behind her told her she was not alone.

"Grell?"

Normally she loved the sound of William's voice, but right now it hurt her head. She pushed herself up and found she was laying on the couch in William's office. There were empty bottles of wine and boxes of chocolate scattered on the floor. "Ouch…" They climbed off the couch, searching for items of clothing that were missing. Shoes. Necktie. Jacket. They were both glad that the rest was still where it should be.

"William, I think I'm going home for today."

"Good idea. I'll do the same. I knew I'd regret this in the morning…"

"It was nice talking to you, though." Her face colored ever so slightly. "I promise I'll think about everything you said. When I'm feeling a little better, that is…"

"It's okay. Rest." He pressed a gentle kiss on her head. "But please don't forget my words. My old man used to say, don't get drunk if you have anything to hide. Because when the alcohol goes in, nothing but the truth comes out."

"That guy sure said a lot."

"Only after a few drinks."

She chuckled and pecked his lips. "See you soon, dear."

"I'll wait for you."

She walked towards the door and William gathered some of the fallen pieces of paper. He caught sight of one in particular, with a certain writing on it. "Grell?"

"Yes, darling?"

"Just in case I might ever need the information… Would you like a red stone on your engagement ring or a plain one? Just in case… You know…"

Grell smiled. "Red would be lovely." She tried not to think of what his question might mean. She worried she might faint. She left, feeling terribly ill and better than she had in a long time.


	9. Chapter 9

William unpacked his belongings on his new desk. Or, his old desk. Just how you looked at it. He preferred to call it his _own_ desk.

Yes, he was back as ruler of the London Branch. He was almost free from his worries.

Almost.

He hadn't spoken to her over the last few days. He had seen her, in the hallways. She had winked at him. What was she up to?

"Spears!" Eric appeared and went straight for a surprise hug. "Welcome back!"

"Mister Spears!" Alan entered as well, keeping a little more distance. "I'm glad you're back. We all are."

"Do realize that the time for slacking is over now," William said, pushing up his glasses. "We have a lot of work to catch up with."

* * *

Ah, how wonderful it was to be back. William didn't dare complain about the paperwork and the overtime. His schedule was filled for weeks to come, but he planned to take at least one afternoon off to do something important. Something he couldn't wait with any longer. He would need a bit of help, though…

"Spears, you wanted to talk to me?"

"Slingby. Come in."

Eric sat down and waited for his supervisor to speak. It didn't happen. "How can I help you?"

"Well…" William pushed his glasses up. "I could use some advise."

"Fire away."

"I've spoken to Grell. It was an… intense conversation." He cleared his throat. "If I'm correct, she's fixing her situation as we speak."

"That's great news!"

"Yes, but…" He took a deep breath. "I proposed to her, Eric."

"You… Say that again, please?"

"I proposed to…"

"That's amazing! She said yes, didn't she?"

"I guess. I mean, she did say she'd kill me if I'd change my mind, so…"

"That's the Sutcliff we know. So, what plans have you made so far?"

"That's why I called you here. You see… I haven't even got a ring yet."

Eric stared at him. "How could that have happened? Spears, did you screw up already?"

"It wasn't exactly a conventional proposal."

"I see. In any case…" He stood up and opened the office door. "Alan! Knox! Come here for a sec."

Eric explained the situation, and after a wave of congratulations, they started to plan things out. There was a lot of work to do.

* * *

Grell took her time. She didn't set an alarm. She needed her beauty sleep. Well rested and fully caffeinated, she started her work. First, a careful shave. Then, she applied her makeup as if she was an artist working on a painting. She put on her favorite suit. Not one of those plain boring ones, but the one she used to wear. The weight of her red coat on her shoulders brought a smile to her lips. She let out a content sigh as she put on her high heels. Yes, the queen was back.

As for the king… She looked at her hand.

_Just in case I might ever need the information… Would you like a red stone on your engagement ring or a plain one? Just in case… You know…_

Oh, no. 'Just in case' was long out of the question. He had proposed to her. They were engaged already. The king of the London Branch was hers.

Before she could dream away, however, she had one more thing left to do.

* * *

William joined Eric on his way to the canteen to talk some things through. "I think it should be possible to give the trainee some extra paperwork. It's good practice for him and it would take him off your hands."

"Great idea," Eric said, getting his fresh cup of coffee. They started on their way back to the department. "We're not babysitters. Our jobs would be a lot easier without that kid around."

"Then I shall prepare…" William stopped dead in his tracks when he noticed the person walking in their direction. "Grell?"

He wasn't the only one who had caught sight of her. People all around them stopped what they were doing to look. A lot of them started whispering, shooting disapproving looks in Grell's direction. He caught bits and pieces of conversations.

"…Wasn't he transferred or something?..."

"…Oh, look, the weirdo's back again…"

"…You know, when he dresses like a normal guy and everything, he's kind of handsome…"

"…Poor Spears. He was finally rid of him, and here he is again. Wouldn't want to trade places with him…"

"…Spear's plague is back. First his demotion, now this. Sucks to be him…"

"…Iew! That's that guy, right? I thought they had cured him…"

William clenched his fists as he tried his best not to yell at them. To say such things about his future wife… If he got his hands on them…

"Spears, calm down," Eric whispered. "You look like you might kill someone."

"Will, darling!" Grell came towards him, her heels clicking on the hard floor. There was a skip in her step and her hips swayed from side to side. Her coat hung casually around her and she had put a rose shaped pin in her hair to keep it out of her face. She opened her arms, ready to claim a hug that was rightfully hers.

William fell in love all over again.

As her arms closed around him, the pitiful looks intensified. William froze for a moment. If they thought so badly of Grell, what would they think of him if he showed affection towards her? Would they condemn him the same way? Was he ready for that?

Grell's eyes focused on his and he threw all his worries out of the window. He tangled his hand in her hair and pulled softly, so her mouth was closer to his. He closed the distance and relished in the scandalized gasps around him. He pressed her against him, wanting the whole world to know that she was his.

"Sutcliff? Is that you?"

William opened his eyes, only to see one of the bullies at a few meter's distance. He broke the kiss, but did not let go of Grell. "How can we help you?"

The man stared a bit longer before remembering why he had come here. He held up a file case. "What is all this?"

"What is what?" Grell asked, giving an innocent look that wasn't meant to convince anyone.

William smirked and brushed one of her short strands of hair behind her ear. "What did you do, love?"

"I simply informed management about the misconducts of my colleagues. Being honest isn't a crime, is it?"

"Misconducts?" The bully half shouted. "These are reports of harassment! Every single person in this file… How did you even get those names?"

"Is management on your side for once?" William asked Grell. That was unexpected.

"Not just on mine. I've collected statements from everyone who's been a victim of these men."

"Do you see yourself as a victim?" the bully asked, his eyes wide from surprise. "Grell, we were only helping you. We were trying to get you back to normal. And you were doing such a great job. But look at you know! What are you even wearing? And how dare you drag your supervisor down with you in your dirty behavior? If anyone here's a victim, it's him!"

"I feel sorry for you," William said. "You are stuck in a very narrow way of thinking. You only have one image of how a person should be like, and you cling on to it. Because of this, you miss out on so much. There are so many beautiful people out there who don't fit the norm, people worth getting to know. But all it triggers within you, is the urge to destroy. For this, I feel sorry for you." He could feel Grell's hold on him intensify.

"I love you," she whispered, only for him to hear.

"Will we be seeing you around?" William asked the bully, the warning clear in his voice.

"I don't think so. That freak of yours got us all suspended indefinitely. We'll receive judgement once they've gone through all the cases."

"Wow, that's going to take long," Grell said. "I was quite surprised myself by the amount of information I managed to gather. It goes from physical assault to violation of privacy. And the number of people you've been bothering over the past few years is quite worrisome as well…"

"All bullshit."

"We'll see. Now, some of us still actually have their jobs, so if you'll excuse us…"

The bully stormed off. "I don't think you'll see that guy around any time soon," Eric said. "Well played, girl."

"Shall we head to our department?" Grell said. "I'd love to see Ronnie and Alan again."

The three of them walked casually, William's hand never leaving Grell's waist. He couldn't wait for them to be alone together. All the things he wanted to tell her…

They entered the London Branch, where they were enthusiastically greeted. The trainee was immediately transferred. Good riddance.

William smiled and pushed his glasses up.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Eric said. "Although I can guess."

"I knew she could do it. She's the strongest person I know."

"Now the next move is yours."

"Yes…"

Plans were being made to go to the pub that night, the whole team together.

"Well," William said, "the faster we work right now, the sooner we can go."

"The last one finishing his paperwork has to buy the first round!" Ronald cheered.

"Alright, let's get to it then." Within a second William felt something sharp press against his throat.

"Not so fast, Mister Spears."

"Grell?"

"You're not getting away this easily. You see, I'm still rather ring-less…"

"And you said you'd kill me if I didn't marry you." He couldn't keep the smirk off his face. "You thought I'd forgotten? Honestly…"

She turned him towards her, still keeping the paper knife at his throat. "I think it's time for you to get down on one knee."

"I thought you'd prefer a more romantic setting."

"Will, we're finally back together. I couldn't care less about the setting."

"In that case…" He retrieved the little box from his pocket. Finally, the moment was here. He sunk down on one knee. Grell tossed the paper knife away and grabbed his hands.

"Don't you dare give me a long speech," she said. "Save it for the wedding. I've waited long enough, you're not going to stretch this out."

William smiled. She was acting though, but he could feel her hands tremble with excitement. "You have indeed waited for centuries. I shall keep things short." He opened the box and presented the ring. Grell's eyes became watery as her hands clenched around his. "Grell Sutcliff, will you make me the luckiest man in the whole world? Will you marry me?"

"Will…" She dropped to her knees and nearly knocked him over with the force of her kiss. Everyone around them cheered.

"I'll order the champagne!" Ronald said.

Eric put an arm around Alan's shoulders. "Someday…" he whispered in his ear.

By the time they broke the kiss, William was laying on the ground, Grell leaning over him. He slid the ring on her finger. "It looks good on you."

"It feels good." She rested her head on his chest. "Told you this day would come."

"I guess you simply have world's most stubborn man in front of you."

"Beneath me, you mean."

"Now, let's keep things civilized, my dear. We've both just got our jobs back."

"True." She climbed off him. "Then I suggest we go home early tonight."

* * *

"Not a bloody chance!"

"Come on, Knox, you know you want it," Eric said.

"I'll do your hair," Grell joined in. "You'll look adorable."

They had found their way to the pub. It was William who'd bought the first round, as he had lost the bet with ease. Shortly after, Alan had mentioned the lack of potential bridesmaids, upon which Eric had nominated Ronald. "I'm not going to wear a dress!" the latter protested. Alan giggled at the mental image.

"I suggest we continue this discussion later," William said. "Right now, I would like to make a toast."

"Yes!" Ronald raised his glass.

"I'd like to toast to us all being back together, happy and healthy. May we remain like this for a great many years."

"To us!" Alan chanted.

"To love!" Grell joined in.

Schemes were concocted to help Ronald find a lover as well, but he insisted he didn't need any help. "I'm better at getting dates than all of you!"

They bought a few more rounds before it was time to split up.

"This is no excuse to come in late tomorrow," William warned. "Overtime will be a very realistic consequence."

"He's back, alright," Eric smiled.

William didn't need to invite Grell over and she didn't need to ask. They held on to each other's hand and set off towards his apartment. There he took off her coat with practiced ease. She stepped into the living room and looked around. "I've missed this apartment."

He wrapped his arms around her from behind. "I've missed having you here." He turned her around and started swaying softly.

"What song are we dancing to?"

"Pick one."

She thought for a moment and started humming a melody William didn't recognize. They swayed from side to side, turning around and around, even after Grell's imaginary song was long finished. "I want to keep it small," she said. "The wedding. Just friends. No strangers. If that's fine with you."

"It is. I was actually thinking about asking Eric to be my best man."

"And I was thinking it'd be nice if Alan would give me away." Her face fell ever so slightly.

"Is something wrong, love?"

"Has… Has anyone told you already?"

"Told me what?"

"About Alan…"

"Alan? What's wrong with him?"

"It's…" She took a shaky breath. "It's the Thorns."

He stopped moving. "Oh, no…"

"Will, he's… He's going to… Alan's going to…"

"How long… You know…"

"They don't know. Eric's devastated. He wanted to spend eternity with him. But now they don't know how long they still have together. It could be centuries, or a few months."

William held her tight, mostly for his own comfort. "Is there anything we can do?"

"We can only cherish the time we have left with him. And perhaps not think about it too much. Live in the moment."

William nodded. "I guess that's for the best…"

They were silent for a moment. Neither moved.

"Ronald's going to be our bridesmaid."

William smiled. "Definitely."

They slowly made their way to bed. William didn't sleep much that night. There was so much he tried to wrap his mind around. He felt like realization would hit him later, and he would worry then. Right now, he tried to think only of the woman sleeping beside him. His fiancé. Very soon, his wife. He filled his head with images of what their live together was going to be like. He couldn't wait.


	10. Chapter 10

"Stop fidgeting or I'll tie your hands together."

"Understood." But it took mere seconds before William started tugging on his sleeves and collar again.

"What are you this nervous for, man?" Eric asked. "There isn't that much that can go wrong. Just relax and enjoy yourself."

"What if I'm not good enough, Eric? What if I can't make her happy?"

"I don't know. No one knows." He sighed. "If there's anything we can learn from Alan, it's that we should live life to its fullest, without looking back. Sure, your marriage could strand within a year. But don't waste your time on doubting, when you could be loving."

William stopped fidgeting. "I'm sure you and Alan… We'll find something… Some way…"

"You bet. I don't care what atrocities I'd have to commit. Fate will have to rip him from my cold dead hands." He tucked a rose into William's breast pocket. "What do you think, Spears? Are you ready? She could be here any minute now."

William straightened his clothes once more. "It's about time."

* * *

Grell checked herself in the mirror. "Alan, do you think anything's missing?"

"I don't think so. You look very pretty, Grell. I'm sure William will melt when he sees you."

"That would be unfortunate," she laughed. "Oh, well. If it isn't perfect now, it will never be. And we mustn't let dear Will wait too long. He might be even more nervous than I am at the moment." She looked at her reflection again. She could hardly believe this was really happening, that the day she had dreamed of was finally here. She admired her dress. It wasn't too decorated and had a certain plainness to it, but it was elegant nonetheless. Her shoulders were covered by short, laced sleeves. The round collar was also decorated with lace. The gown hugged her waist, but flowed freely around her legs, barely touching the ground. A sparkling necklace graced her neck, matching her earrings. Her hair had grown a bit over time, but was still relatively short. Alan had helped her do it up in several braids, fastened on the back of her head with a big flower pin. She lowered the veil over her face. Yes, she was ready.

"Don't forget the flowers." Alan handed her the bouquet. He softly stroked his chest. Today was a bad day.

"You better catch them when I throw them. You and Eric are running out of excuses."

Alan laughed. "I'll do my best. Now, shall we head out?"

They left the dressing room and made their way to the field. They were at the Department of Personal Affairs, where weddings were commonly held. Inside of the building were the dressing rooms, the ceremony halls and the like. Behind it was an impressive landscape, divided in areas which all looked slightly different, but were all shielded off from the rest of the world. The spot William and she had chosen was surrounded by beautiful blossoming trees. A small stream made its way along the edge, clattering happily on the stones it met. It looked like something out of a fairytale.

William glanced at the Department worker who was to make their marriage official. He knew they were just another appointment in his agenda. Within half an hour the man would walk over to another part of the landscape to marry another couple. If they finished in time, that was. Because Grell was running a bit late…

Alan appeared at the entrance, signaling that they were ready to begin. Grell soon joined at his side and William's breath hitched. Was this a dream? No, there she came, step by step, towards him. His chest could hardly contain his pounding heart. He felt like screaming and crying and dropping to his knees and kissing her, all at the same time.

Grell had to stifle a squeal when she saw Ronald. He hadn't gone as far as to wear a dress, but those were some prominent ribbons in his hair. All thoughts of her bridesmaid were lost, however, when she laid eyes on William. His nervousness radiated off him. But there was also excitement in his eyes.

"Keep breathing, man," Eric whispered, snapping William out of his thoughts. "We can't have you pass out, can we?"

Alan let go of Grell and there she was, in front of him, her face covered by the thin veil. "Hello, darling," she whispered, her voice strained with anticipation. "Sorry for the wait."

"I couldn't care less about that right now, love."

"Shall we begin?" the Department worker asked, eager to get back on schedule. They turned towards him. It was time to begin.

* * *

William became restless as the ceremony stretched out. He wanted to hear those final words already. Grell noticed it and squeezed his hand.

"…I hereby pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

William grabbed the edge of the veil and dragged it up, revealing her face. Her chest rose and fell rapidly. Her eyes were fixated on his. With one hand, he cupped her cheek, and he leaned forward. Grell, having lost all patience, closed the distance and pressed herself against him. Alan, Ronald and Eric cheered and applauded. It was done.

The kiss was slowly broken. "Will, dear, are you crying?"

"I'm sorry…" He tried to stop the flood, but to no avail. "It's just… I'm so happy…"

Grell laughed and hugged him tight. "You silly man…"

They moved on to the cake and champagne. William held his speech. "...If anyone would have told me a few months ago, that today I'd be standing here, I'd have given them overtime…"

There was some dancing, a lot of laughing, and many happy memories were made. As much fun as they were having, though, the evening crept up on them.

"Will, dear," Grell whispered in his ear as they were entangled in a slow dance, "perhaps we should head to your apartment soon. I'm getting rather… hungry, if you know what I mean." She bit his lip softly, but teasingly.

"Oh, my. What kind of husband would I be if I were to deny my lady her needs?"

Grell giggled. "Are they really just _my_ needs, though?"

"I must admit your idea doesn't sound bad… at all."

"Then what are we waiting for?" She twirled his hair in her fingers, pressing herself closer against him.

William smiled and tilted her chin up. "You're worse than any demon out there."

"And yet you just signed a lifelong contract with me."

"But then again, how could I not have? I am way too deep in your clutches to even think about resistance."

"Hmm, I like the sound of that."

They shared a long, deep kiss. After a while, hands started traveling elsewhere. His slid down her back, hers tried to find a way underneath his shirt.

"Get a room, you two!" Ronald shouted.

"Sounds like a good plan," Eric said to Alan, who turned a slight shade of pink.

"But first, catch!" Grell picked up her bouquet and threw it in the air.

Alan tripped, but Eric caught both him and the flowers in one swift move. "My, my," he smiled, helping the other back up. "Seems like we'll be having another party sometime soon."

"Now, if you'll excuse us," William said, "I have a wife to attend to." He tugged on the skirt of Grell's gown. "Come on, love."

"Getting impatient, dear?"

"Very much so."

"Well, we can't have that."

It was another fifteen minutes before they finished saying goodbye. A carriage from the Department brought them to William's apartment. He held her close to him all the way. She snuggled up to him as if her live depended on it.

"I've received a letter from the Department of Housing," he said. "They can see us in a fortnight."

"That's pretty soon."

"We won't be seeing any houses yet. They first want to know who we are and what we are looking for."

"Hmm. A nice kitchen. Not anything fancy, but one that contains all the necessities."

"Yes, ma'am."

"I don't need a big garden, but you better get used to having flowers around."

"How many rooms do you think we'll need?"

Grell counted on her fingers. "If the dinner table is in the same room as the kitchen… Four? Bedroom, bathroom, living room and kitchen. Anything else would be extra."

"I think we should go for at least five rooms."

"What is that extra one for?"

"Just in case. You never know, one day we might expand our family by one…"

"Just one?"

"Now, let's not hurry things, shall we? Who knows what the future will bring?"

They arrived at the apartment building. William unlocked the door before scooping Grell up, who let out a surprised squeal.

"I told you, love, that my patience is wearing thin." He carried her through the door, which he closed with his foot. He didn't bother with turning on any lights. He didn't stop walking before he had reached the bed, where he gently laid Grell down on. He hoovered over her, kissing her lips softly.

"Is this really happening?" she whispered. "Did we really get married? Will I not wake tomorrow, realizing it was all a dream? I don't think I could take that…"

"Sweetheart, I promise it's not a dream. When you open your eyes tomorrow, I'll be right here."

"You better be. Otherwise I'll hunt you down."

He chuckled. "I wouldn't expect anything else." He started working on removing the pin from her hair to make her more comfortable. He let his hands slid through her hair as he untangled her braids, one by one. "What did I do to deserve you?"

She loosened his tie. "Give yourself some credit, will you? I didn't spend centuries chasing a loser. You are strong, well-mannered, and one of the kindest people I've ever met. Don't underestimate that soft side of yours, Will. It'd make Sebas-chan melt."

"Let's try that sometime."

Grell giggled, also because of the fluttering kisses that were pressed to her skin.

William, being done with her hair, moved lover, trying to find a way to remove the dress. As he undid the buttons on her back, though, she forced him at an arm's length. "Grell? Is something wrong, love?"

She looked away. "My body…"

"I know."

"How can you not mind?"

He leaned forward and whispered, "That's what you call love. What's important to me right now, is that _you_ don't mind. There is no reason to be ashamed of anything. Between these walls, standards don't exist. No matter how rough the outside world may be, here you are the most beautiful woman that's ever walked this earth."

"There will be bad days, though. Days when I can't ignore my body."

"But what does the 'for better' mean if we can't face the 'for worse'? It'll be fine, love. We'll be fine. We're safe. We're happy. We'll deal with problems when they arise."

"In that case, I might see a problem already."

William raised an eyebrow. "Do tell."

"Both of us are still wearing clothes."

"Oh, my. Let's do something about that, shall we?"

Time ceased to exist. Neither knew, nor cared, whether the sun was rising already or not. Nothing mattered anymore. They couldn't remember who fell asleep first, who kissed who goodnight, who held who close. It didn't matter. Not tonight.

* * *

Grell rubbed her eyes. Since when was sunlight so bright? She reached for her glasses and looked around her. She was alone. "Will?" Her heat beat sped up. Had it all been a dream after all? "Will, dear?"

_When you open your eyes tomorrow, I'll be right here._

She jumped out of the bed. "Will?" No, no, no! This couldn't have been a dream! It had felt so real… But what if? What if it was a normal day, and William had just left for work, letting her sleep in? She stormed into the kitchen. No one there, either. She shuffled back to the bedroom, trying to accept the reality of her fears.

And there he was.

William laid curled up in bed, tangled up in the sheets. Grell allowed herself to calm down a little. Perhaps it hadn't been a dream? She crawled back into bed and snuggled up against him, her hand stroking his bare shoulders. He stirred. "Will?" she whispered.

"Yes?" He wasn't anywhere near awake yet.

"Did we… Are we married?"

His eyes fluttered half-open. "Good morning, love." He wrapped an arm around her and seemed to be falling back asleep already.

"Will!" She shoved his shoulder.

"Huh? What's the matter?"

"Are we married?"

He blinked at her in astonishment.

You see, Grell thought. It was all a dream after all. It was a dream and now you've confused Will. Way to go.

"I don't know many people who forget their own wedding the day after."

"But I had this dream that we got married and…"

"Congratulations. Then you managed to get married twice yesterday."

"Twice?"

"Yeah. Once for real, and once in your dreams."

"But that means…" She gasped. "We're married!"

"That's what usually happens at a wedding."

"We're actually married!" She looked at him. Then she hit him on his arm.

"Hey!"

"You promised you'd be here when I woke up! You made me think it was all a dream!"

"I just had to use the bathroom for a moment…" He was already drifting off again.

Grell smiled and curled up in his arms. "I love you."

"I love you too…"

And so they fell asleep, neither planning on ever letting go of the other first.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so, so much for reading this story!
> 
> Have a beautiful day!


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